This is the first in a series of occasional Q & A sessions about Evan Delaney. Or, judging, from the questions I’ve received, Q & A sessions with Evan Delaney.
From Kelly (friend and an instigator of this thing):
Dear Evan,
I’ve just passed my driving test and am looking to buy a car. You’ve driven a Ford Explorer and Jesse’s Mustang. What should I get? Also, how do you think these new eco-friendly hybrids would hold up in a car chase?
I’ve never been in a car chase. When one person’s on foot and the other’s in a Porsche, I just call it “running like hell.” That said, an eco-friendly Prius would work well in a chase. Park it in the middle of the road, block traffic with it and take off down the nearest alley.
Dear Evan,
I’ve met someone special recently and have bought them an MP3 player for their birthday. I’ve noticed that you refer to music a lot? What ten songs should I download to let them know how much I care?
Congratulations, Kelly. You sound really happy. Can you tell me more about your special someone?
Do you need to send this message in code? Try playing Black Sabbath, backward. Or if you need to bug out in a hurry, Iron Maiden’s “Head for the Hills” would be good.
Is your someone a dictator you want to depose? When US troops surrounded General Noriega in Panama, they besieged him with Guns ‘n’ Roses and (this may be too cruel for you) Cher. “Half Breed” should make any tinpot strongman run screaming from his hidey hole.
Good luck!
3 responses so far ↓
Patti // August 19, 2006 at 6:13 pm
Hey, it’s a “Dear Abby” for the streetwise and paranoid! I’m sure there’s a syndication (forget I used that word–way too close to “syndicate”
market out there. As for “the best offense is offensive music,” perhaps that’s what George not-W Bush was doing to the Democrats (and slightly pink-tinted Canadians whose t.v. is primarily American) with “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” in 1988.
Kate // August 22, 2006 at 9:17 pm
I must disagree with your choice of chase music for the iPod. Clearly the correct answer is the song “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows.” And while I’m at it, why do you believe a Prius would successfully block traffic? I think it’s just as likely an insensitive American would ram it with a giant SUV.
Evan // August 23, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Kate, I didn’t mention chase music. And in general the sound of revving engines and screeching tires is plenty inspirational, even without a backbeat. But I like your idea. How about the Dixie Chicks’ “Sin Wagon”? It’s rollicking and uptempo, and could double as an anthem of reproach to the giant SUV drivers.
The point is to sow confusion and escape. Have fun!
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