Let’s get straight to the latest batch of questions.
Dear Evan,
I read in Jane’s Defence Weekly that new threats are turning the traditional approach to airborne electronic warfare on its head. Should I be worried?
Defensive
Yes, you should. Electronic jamming of air defenses is a critical part of aerial warfare, though that’s not the true threat here. Reading between the lines, I suspect that this is about an emotional rather than a physical battlespace. Your girlfriend complains that you “tune her out.” Am I right? You need to turn off the TV and the iPod, quit World of Warcraft (yes, even if you’re the high scorer), light a few candles, sit down and listen to her. Don’t interrupt, don’t eat Doritos, don’t quote from Jackass, for twenty solid minutes. The results should astound you.
On the other hand, if you’re a guerrilla carrying a portable surface-to-air missile system that relies on infra-red guidance, you’re on your own, bub.
Dear Evan,
My brother gets on my nerves and nobody understands. He has a hotshot job, a fast truck, a house on the beach and a whole room full of sports trophies. I’m just a dude trying to get by. Sometimes I feel like a nothing next to him. Can you explain to him that I need room to breathe?
PJ, cut it out. Jesse’s not buying you tickets to the V Festival in London, and that’s that. I am not going to bug him to do it.
But I am having a barbecue on Saturday. Can you bring dessert?
Evan,
Don’t let PJ bring brownies. The DEA is running a sting operation in Santa Barbara County. You don’t want uninvited guests kicking down your door.
However, I’m flying in from Milan. Shall I bring tiramisu? And perhaps something from Dolce and Gabbana, to replace your ratty-ass Santa Barbara clothes?
Jax? You want to turn up at my barbecue? No. Unh-unh. I’d feel safer going bomb-hunting with Jack Bauer. Sorry, woman.
5 responses so far ↓
Susan // October 4, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Evan, you seem pretty cool for a woman whose next adventure is hitting the stands tomorrow. But while you’re answering questions, I’ve got one.
What the heck kind of vitamins are you and Jesse on? You get pursued all over hell’s half acre, fall off cliffs, attend family weddings with a smile and go swimming at night in the ocean while dodging bullets. And you bounce right back.
Hell, I get exhausted just reading about it.
Kate // October 5, 2006 at 8:16 am
Evan, you really must permit Jax to attend your BBQ. Not only are those knock-offs you bought a few years ago worn out, they never cut it in the first place. Let the woman bring you some real fashion from Milan. Your feet will thank you.
Evan // October 5, 2006 at 8:42 am
Susan:
I credit Wheaties. And love. And occasionally habanero peppers.
Kate:
My feet might thank me. My guests might end up in Witness Protection. No thanks.
Patti // October 5, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Perhaps, but all potential threats would be neutralized. Is that Tim on the roof of Nikki’s house? With the M-40? Who did you invite to this shindig?
xbearx // July 7, 2007 at 10:43 pm
ok hopefully its a pre wedding BBQ its about time you and that gorgeous boy friend of yours tie the knot and how many film deals have you had iv read all of the books twice and now i want to see them in film come on evan make use of jax and tim maybe they can help
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