My post on feeling grumpy about incorrect apostrophes in the Christmas cards I’ve received drew some robust comments, ranging from “outline all of the apostrophes so that they look like festive little icicles hanging off the edges of people’s names” to “Christmas isn’t Christmas without Scrooge, so grind, twitch and rant to your heart’s content.” But Prospectus has his own rant:
The use of periods/full stops to give emphasis is the Most. Annoying. Thing. Ever. I was surprised to see you succumbing to it in a recent title, Meg! Tch. It is almost as bad as using quotation marks to be emphatic – ‘ “free” calls all this month!’
Sorry for channeling Comic Book Guy in that post, Prospectus. But thanks for giving me an idea. Grammar Humbug Week.
What grammar atrocity annoys you the most? More broadly, which writing tics, cliches and inaccuracies drive you nuts? Let me know. I’ll collect them and use them to decorate a virtual Christmas tree of language nightmares. Then, when it’s weighed down with pet peeves, I’ll plug it into an overloaded light socket and ignite all our hates in a symbolic bonfire of the inanities. Then we can all enjoy Christmas unencumbered by petty semantic concerns, and get to the carols and wassailing.
Rant away.
18 responses so far ↓
leapyearcutie // December 8, 2007 at 12:50 pm |
Well, since you asked…
There, their and they’re; your and you’re; to, too and two; and stupidity such as “Cookies by Design” – as opposed to what? Cookies by Accident? I started out making chicken pot pie and POOF, cookies? (OK, maybe technically not grammar, but still….)
Love your blog! I’ll be back!
Shannon
D // December 8, 2007 at 5:49 pm |
Multiple exclamation points always seem to get on my nerves. Any more than one makes me feel as if I’m being scolded or something. Yes, overuse of the exclamation is definitely evil. However – and I’m not sure if this qualifies – there should be an age limit when women should be restricted from dotting the letter “I” with little hearts or smiley faces. There. I’ve said it. I feel much better now. Thanks, Meg!
prospectus // December 8, 2007 at 6:43 pm |
Oh, me! Me! Do I still get to hang a bauble even though I’ve had my rant?
“I am having somewhat of a bad day.”
No, nay, never. ‘Somewhat’ is a word like ‘very’, ’slightly’ or ‘quite’. You don’t have “very/slightly/quite of a bad day”. You have a “slightly bad day”, or a “somewhat bad day”.
If you really must use such a butcherous term, at least have the decency to say “I am having a somewhat bad day”, or worse still, “I am having something of a bad day”.
Inaccuracies are a good topic too. In Tom Clancy’s book (was it Patriot Game?) a soldier corners an IRA man in the middle of some attack or what have you. He says, “Army, stop!”
No, nay, a thousand times nay. Read the words he says. Have you ever heard them spoken? “Police, stop!” perhaps. The army don’t operate that way though.
While I’m ranting, can I post a defence of adverbs? I know they are out of fashion, but they can be invaluable words when well used. As part of my Dickens binge I came across a beautifully complex paragraph dealing with someone’s conflicting emotions. I re-read it and mentally removed the adverbs, and the whole thing became a dud. So, budding writers, adverb away til your heart’s content. Don’t be afraid to leave them in if they earn their keep.
I better quit while I’m ahead here. I can see Meg packing sand into a sock and planning to shut me up if I don’t shut myself up first.
P.
PS – if you want to see Tom Clancy type stuff done well, Gerald Seymour’s not a bad choice.
Ken // December 8, 2007 at 7:19 pm |
Ooh! (note, only 1!) don’t get me started unless you want to be swamped by a barrage of pet hates, suffice it to say, Leapyearcutie covered the ones that peeve me the most.
Meg // December 8, 2007 at 8:44 pm |
Ken, please do start. Clutter our grammar tree with pet hates like shiny Christmas tinsel.
Rich // December 8, 2007 at 9:02 pm |
Two things that annoy. The first and worst would be reporters (allegedly they should have taken an English course or two before writing for a living) who use the non word “co-conspirator”. (One can not conspire with oneself. You are either in a conspiracy with someone or you are not.) I’m on my own private mission to get this stamped out. Every time I see it in print I fire off a letter to the editor of the paper. So far they have not taken the hint.
Secondly, the act of placing surplus “e”s onto otherwise contented words. Such as making “Old” into “Olde” Its not cute and only points out the fact that some peope have many more spare “e”s than anyone else and are not willing to share their wealth with such vowel hungary languages as found in certain Baltic countries. I have proposed a share the wealth program between Slavic countries who have way to many consonants than they know what to do with and South Pacific nations who seem to have lost their consonants by having them fall off their catamarans while moving from Indonesia to Hawaii. But, God bless them, they did save their vowels. Take alook at common words in each culture.
The English could help out here, too, inasmuch as they seem to have more “u”s than they know what to do with like placing them next to “o”s in a random manner that makes no kind of sense at all. Here I am thinking “mold” works just fine rather than “mould”. Poland would be very happy to put those “u”s to much better use.
Dan // December 8, 2007 at 10:47 pm |
Here’s another peeve: “Each other” & “One another”. “Each other” refers to two people. “One another” refers to three or more people. At the same time, “between” is for two people and “among” is for three or more.
susan // December 9, 2007 at 3:56 am |
Hmm, how do they peeve me, let me count the ways….
Most current
Very unique
Nucular (you’d think someone would have the guts to just TELL the guy)
Go (as in “…and I go, ‘No way,’ and he goes, ‘Way,’ and I go ‘Get outta here.’”)
Like (as in “…and I’m like, ‘No way,’ and he’s like, ‘Way,’ and I’m like, ‘Get outta here.’”)
But the worst is the mysterious disappearance of the word “of” after “couple”. As in “I’ll be there in a couple minutes.”
Every time I see it in a book, I want to take a pen and make the correction that the proofreader clearly missed.
djpaterson // December 9, 2007 at 11:10 am |
Mine is the missing apostrophe, lost somewhere in the signwriter’s workshop. There must be hundreds of them, swept from the floor every evening by the cleaners.
How many times do I pass the same poorly written sign and feel the urge to knock on the door and remonstrate with the occupant of the shop/house?
A lot.
DJ
Grammar humbug « djpaterson // December 9, 2007 at 11:12 am |
[...] Grammar — Tags: punctuation — djpaterson @ 12:12 pm In what she’s dubbed Grammar Humbug Week, Meg Gardiner asks what grammar atrocity annoys you the [...]
Meg // December 9, 2007 at 12:33 pm |
Now you’re rolling, folks. That’s it, let it all out! And head over to DJ Paterson’s site to see his firsthand investigative grammar reporting.
Wish him happy birthday while you’re at it.
prospectus // December 9, 2007 at 12:48 pm |
Susan: Right on, sister!
Notice how many of these bastardizations are rooted in the advertising industry? “The all-new show from the makers of…” as opposed to the only-a-wee-bit-new-show, I presume.
Grammar humbug II: Going nucular « lying for a living // December 9, 2007 at 1:29 pm |
[...] 9, 2007 · No Comments Venting about her pet peeves as part of Grammar Humbug Week, Susan writes: Nucular (you’d think someone would have the guts to just TELL the [...]
Hiker Chick // December 9, 2007 at 10:08 pm |
The possessive pronoun “its” used as a contraction “it’s” definitely makes me want to tear out my hair. I’ve seen it misused more than once on U.S. network TV: “This program contains graphic material. It’s contents may be disturbing to young viewers. ” What about the disturbing corruption of America’s grammar by the inept proofreaders at CBS??
Patti // December 10, 2007 at 2:57 am |
I’m suffering from, well, whiner’s block. Faced with the opportunity to let fly with my pet writing and grammar peeves (and I know there’s a whole kennelful just waiting to be released), I can’t decide where to start.
Meg // December 10, 2007 at 11:06 am |
Patti:
Dartboard.
Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Short straw.
Just some methods that might help you randomly choose where to start.
Phil // December 10, 2007 at 8:21 pm |
“He’s deceptively intelligent.”
Does that mean he’s smarter than he comes across, or dumber? I love it! It’s how I now compliment people’s new haircuts, fashion choices, etc.
“Does this sweater make my ass look big?”
“You look deceptively slim in it.”
“Oh… thanks? Wait – what do you-”
“HAHA let’s go get drunk!”
One that really annoys me is when people shorten words on signs like ‘night’ into ‘nite’. That one gets my goat. Or using IM speech in conversation. “Oh, BRB people–that’s just an FYI, lol!”
leapyearcutie // December 11, 2007 at 7:49 pm |
Phil-
That was funny!!
Shannon