Kitsap County, Washington, is – as I’ve noted before – a font of stories about jaw-droppingly weird crime. Today the Kitsap Sun examines whether the county is truly in the big leagues when it comes to wacko criminality: When the Going Gets Weird, Kitsap County Turns Pro.
Does it feel weirder around here, or is it just me?
Cat burglars leaving expensive video-game systems behind for a few porn magazines and bottles of bubble bath. Santa Claus crucified on a 15-foot cross. A large, naked man freaking out on angel dust and trying to lick the wires of a police Taser.
The simple answer is no. Probably not. Maybe not. Is there any way to tell for sure?
Maybe it just feels that way because the area’s poor judgments and compromising moments are written and published.
And with the help of the Internet, stories of Kitsap life are being read, rewritten, commented upon, doubted, interpreted and probed for deeper meaning by a worldwide audience.
Among the worldwide commentators author Andrew Binion mentions are NPR, the BBC – and me, for calling Kitsap County a “cosmic vortex of weird crime.”
My comment was flip, and with more thought, I suspect that Kitsap County may not be any crazier than other places; it just has attentive reporters. As Binion notes, “We might not be weirder than others, but when we are weird, the world hears about it.”
Yes, we do.
Adult Movie Theater Robbed at Gunpoint. “An employee of an adult theater was robbed of about $1,000 at gunpoint Monday, but the suspect may have left behind DNA evidence.”
Crucified Santa on 15-foot cross is a “comment” on Christmas. Homeowner Art Conrad “created it by stuffing a Santa suit and borrowing the head off a motion-activated Santa that dances and sings Christmas carols. The headless dancing Santa now carries a knife and sings and dances on Conrad’s front porch. Conrad photographed the crucified Santa and created his own Christmas cards, one with the message, ‘Santa died for your MasterCard.’”
And finally: Nude couple grapple over dog near shower. “A 25-year-old woman was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault for getting into an argument with her boyfriend over whether his dog should be in the bathroom while the couple were taking a shower together.”
Let’s hear it for local news. Happy New Year.
It’s probably true that it is no worse than anywhere else. I could tell you a few good ones from Northern Ireland over the years. Like the guy who robbed a lingerie shop because he thought he was a female elf. Or the time the IRA got a lot of car thieves and hooligans and shot the kneecaps off them – and then phoned for a fleet of taxis to take them all to hospital. Or the parsimonious local politician who, instead of buying 10 gondolas for a big river festival, thought it might be more economical just to buy two gondolas and breed them. I’m not sure there are many sane corners of the world.
As a resident of Kitsap County I can assure you that we are not any wierder than anyplace else. Mankind’s creativity for violence and crime is not limted to the folks here on the kitsap penisula, it’s everywhere.
(Perhaps it should be noted that there are not one but two united states Navel Bases plus a navel ship yard here in kitsap county. Very “China Lake” perhaps the setting for a future Evan Delany novel?
Matt, I had no idea you dwelt in the center of the vortex. We aren’t going to read about you in the Kitsap Sun’s “Code 911″ section, are we?
I do indeed Meg. I live in Bremeton and work in Silverdale (as a minister no less) So i guess you could say i stand aganist the evil powers.
Did you miss these? Arizona has a ways to go to catch up with Kitsap
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2007/dec/25/bremerton-woman-beats-up-man-for-urinating-in/
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2007/dec/31/police-catch-five-joyriding-in-gold-mountain/
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2008/jan/03/security-camera-captured-the-thief-that-stole-it/
Not a crime but pretty damn silly if you think about it
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2007/dec/31/kitsap-mall-hosts-bad-holiday-gift-contest/
Hi Meg!
Being from Kitsap, I enjoy Code 911 very much. It’s my favorite part of the paper! However, there is one publication that might beat us out on “weird news.” Check out the Dutch Harbor Fisherman (Dutch Harbor, Alaska), Matter of Record section. It is usually a treasure chest of smiles, laughter, and head scratching. See http://www.alaskanewspapers.com/dutchharbor.asp
Cheers!
Thanks, Harry. So, I guess the newspaper is the place to go for the real behind-the-scenes stories from Deadliest Catch. And how can you fail to love a place whose city basketball champions are the Crab Wizards?
Great collection of stories, Kitsapgnome – I think golf cart joyriding should be added to the ESPN schedule.
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Kitsap is a very very very weird and funny little island. Yes those things happen every where in the usa. But funny the frequencey of the horrible crimes and how every one there think its normal. Well look around you see who is looking at you. I lived there 9 months and for reasons not my own i feel like i escaped. Very very very Weird funny place. One Comment. Its public information but they dont want it national news. There is a lot and i mean alot they dont tell about. Well lets say they let things happen in Kidnap County.
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