On Whatever, John Scalzi posts a list of ten things he’s done that you probably haven’t, and encourages the rest of us to do the same. Here’s my list.
- Performed “YMCA” while waist-deep in the Dead Sea, smeared with mud.
- Been dragged across a field by a galloping horse.
- Won Jeopardy three times.
- Sat down at my desk and set bare feet on a dead rabbit. (My cat had put it there as a gift.)
- Had a hair-pulling, full-contact wrestling match with the editor of a Catholic newspaper.
- Killed a black widow spider barehanded. (It was climbing into the bathtub with my toddlers.)
- Had a streaker invade my birthday party.
- Confronted a bull elephant on a hiking trail in the African bush.
- Been stuck in a Manhattan elevator with Richard Harris and Richard Simmons.
- Drove one thousand miles to Roswell, New Mexico, before I had my driver’s license.
What’s your list?
UPDATE: I need to try harder. You match me on confronting elephants, killing black widows, and playing games with Alex Trebek.
UPDATE 2: “Struck by lightning.” I doubt any of us is going to beat that.
36 responses so far ↓
Dan // January 19, 2008 at 4:48 pm |
In no particular order….
1. Took my SATs while in a body cast.
2. Drove from Dallas to Chicago in 11 hours.
3. Moderated a computer-chat system in1986.
4. Walked away from a highway-speed, head-on collision.
5. Took a midnight ride, on a golf-cart through the streets of Chicago…in January.
6. Attended Stevie-Ray Vaughan’s last concert in Alpine Valley, Wisconsin.
7. I was briefly hospitalized as the result of being attacked by a house cat.
8. I drove across the U.S. without using an interstate highway.
9. Got lost in the Shawnee National Forest.
10. Spent a summer on a tour of Civil-War battlefields.
Jeff // January 19, 2008 at 6:18 pm |
1. Saw a night launch of the shuttle Atlantis
2. A dolphin took most of my arm in its mouth before realizing I wasn’t a fish
3. Drove 12 hours for a date (each way)
4. Hugged by a stingray on Bora Bora
5. Baptised in a cattle pond
6. Gave up my country for the love of a woman (See #3)
7. Rode in a helicopter piloted by Smokey Bear
8. Fell headlong into fresh concrete
9. Took flying lessons at age 15 (and washed out)
10. Got a pat on the head by Tex Ritter (I remember he sang “I like to go swimmin’ with bow-legged women and swim between their legs…” and “If the ocean were whiskey and I was a duck, I’d swim to the bottom and never come up.”)
Meg // January 19, 2008 at 7:08 pm |
Dan, does the full-body cast have any causal relation to the golf cart joyride, the head-on crash, or the cat attack?
Jeff… night launch! I’m envious!
Dan // January 19, 2008 at 7:21 pm |
Thankfully, no, Meg. I had a spinal fusion to correct compound scoliosis when I was in my teens. I didn’t list the surgery as I’m trying to block it from memory. I was in that god-awful cast for 6 months. The only good thing, though, was that before surgery I was 5′8″. After surgery: 6′1″. No kidding.
Hiker Chick // January 19, 2008 at 9:23 pm |
1. Smashed my face into a volleyball net pole at 6 a.m. in the dark running the dog while riding my bike in the rain.
2. Survived (barely) parenting a step-daughter.
3. Petted nurse sharks while scuba-diving in Belize.
4. Lived for a year during high school in a German village of some 500 people where no one spoke English and almost everyone was related.
5. Wrote a college senior thesis comparing the 19th century American communitarian movement to communes in the 1960’s.
6. Waited for my ride at the Santa Barbara airport curbside alongside John Travolta (he’s REALLY short).
7. Had a 9th grade student respond to my queries about her slump in class with, “I have to go to court today to testify against my father who’s been sexually abusing me.”
8. Almost spilled coffee on Shirley Temple Black at an international conference while I was university student food service employee.
9. Listened to my husband’s stories for a year about working at a start-up recently with “The Woz” Steven Wozniak and I didn’t once ask for a ride on his Segway.
10. Had my Barack Obama bumper sticker on my car for a full year before I saw another one. (Got lots of thumbs ups though!)
P.S. Meg, who won the girl-fight? (I’m assuming, the editor was a she with the hair-pulling.)
Snart // January 20, 2008 at 12:20 am |
These are fun!
Here’s mine:
1. Had a hair-pulling, full-contact wrestling match with an award-winning crime thriller writer.
2. Shook hands with Colin Powell.
3. Had the building next to me shelled when I was covering a story in Kosovo.
4. Sang the song “Sugar” for a crowd of Kiwis and Aussies while standing on the shore of an island in Fiji.
5. Survived crossing a swollen, raging river while strapped into my hiking backpack.
6. Went skiing in the Zukspitz, the highest mountain in Germany.
7. Had an emergency DNC without benefit of anesthesia.
8. Survived being the only girl in a family with four brothers.
9. Pitched on a girl’s Little League team in Germany, winning our season against the boys with a 12-0 record.
10. Fenced at a Western Conference match at Stanford University, being the only fencer to score the high of two points against a future Olympic fencer.
Snart // January 20, 2008 at 12:21 am |
Oh, one more!
Carried on a letter correspondence with Richard Basehart!
Kate // January 20, 2008 at 6:23 am |
And here are mine:
1. Had more than 90 books checked out from the library at once.
2. Been on a private tour of the House of Lords with one of the Queen’s bodyguards.
3. Sneaked into Bethlehem illegally with a an Israeli Jew, an Israeli Muslim, and three clueless Americans.
4. Had to prevent the editor of a Catholic newspaper and an award-winning crime thriller writer from mauling each other in a fight.
5. Performed the most difficult dance to come out of the 19th century at dawn after staying up the whole night waltzing.
6. Spent the afternoon scoring baseball games with a former Philadelphia Eagles lineman and radio commentator.
7. Realized halfway through a date the boy was carrying a loaded gun (he neglected to inform me of this fact, not seeing anything out of the ordinary with the practice).
8. Stood in line at Subway wearing a white ballgown and been asked if I was “going to a wedding”.
9. Gone to a cobra petting zoo.
10. Survived cheerleading camp in Texas.
Sharon K // January 20, 2008 at 8:28 am |
Where was the black widow spider? Not in Santa BARBARA?
Ken // January 20, 2008 at 9:54 am |
Firstly Meg, I can match your #s 6 and 8.
1. Been 9 thousand feet underground in a gold mine
2. Survived a high speed roll (several rolls) in a rally tuned Anglia 105e driven by James ‘Leadfoot’ Duffy
3. Scuba dived amongst several great white sharks. (no cage)
4. Witnessed 3 lionesses taking down an Eland.
5. Pulled 5 Gs in a fighter jet (I was the terrified passenger)
6. Took a camel ride in the Sahara desert
7. Hooked a 6lb tiger fish in Kariba dam, Zimbabwe.
8. Climbed Table Mountain, Cape Town.
9. Had a Champaign breakfast on top of Cathedral Peak in the Drakensberg in Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa.
10. Been married for 37 years and raised 2 marvellous children who’ve blessed us with 2 gorgeous grand daughters.
Sharon K // January 20, 2008 at 3:44 pm |
1. Ran a first-aid station on iron-ore mine in Australia’s Gibson Desert
2. Appeared on Iranian news bulletin
3. Met Princess Anne last November (I know lots of people have done this, but I only accepted the dinner date three hours earlier!)
4. In 2005, played cameo role of Gertie Cummings in Oklahoma! at Winchester Theatre Royal
5. Won £1,500 of Laura Ashley vouchers which is a hell of a lot of frilly dresses (so I bought a sofa instead)
6. Had my first ever email from the late, great journalist John Diamond.
7. Lunch with me was first prize for aspiring romantic novelists (second prize was two lunches with me)
8. Cooked lunch for 33 on a dark, converted double-decker bus going through northern Italy.
9. Once wrote a book in three weeks
10. Walked 26 miles through night-time London for the Moonwalk and, quite by chance met a violinist at 6am (who happened to a be a friend of my Uncle Aidan) who was playing to keep everyone’s spirits up! It must have worked because I went straight on to a lunch party!
susan // January 20, 2008 at 4:24 pm |
You’re absolutely right, folks. I haven’t come close to any of those. Oh wait, maybe I have. See #1 and 3.
1. Appeared twice (and won once) on a TV quiz show hosted by Alex Trebek that wasn’t Jeopardy.
2. Been in a relationship with the same guy for 18 years without getting married or moving in together.
3. Put out my daughter’s burning hair with my bare hands when she got too close to the candles on her 16th birthday cake.
4. Survived my daughter’s first (and mercifully last) parachute jump.
5. Won a bicycle in an essay-writing contest when I was 8 and used it for over 40 years.
6. Watched 3 different movie versions of Little Women in one day, while sick with pneumonia (seeing Beth die 3 times made me feel relatively healthy).
7. Celebrated the Big 55 (on 05-05-05) by climbing to the top of the Duomo in Florence
8. Got one-upped yet again by my older brother for my mother’s sympathy when, right after I lost my job of 24 years, an ESA rocket carrying his 10-year-project exploded spectacularly 37 seconds after take-off.
(gosh it’s hard to come up with 10. Am I that dull?)
9. Appeared in the Peanut Gallery on The Howdy Doody Show (with the same brother).
10. Saw Reagan, Thatcher, Kohl and Mulroney one after the other, half a block from my house. (Oh, that IS pathetic. I’ll replace that one…)
10. Hung up Margaret Atwood’s coat for her at a fundraiser. (Still pathetic, but a far more worthy person.)
(and I’ll throw in one for my partner: he claims to have been the only person at Woodstock who wasn’t stoned)
Okay, that does it. My life list needs a good kick start. Thanks, Meg, for the wake-up call.
Hiker Chick // January 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm |
OK, my spouse wants to get in on the fun. Here’s his list:
1. Was forced to pee at the command of Russian soldiers on both sides of the Suez Canal during the Cold War.
2. Was forced to pay $241,000 of AMT taxes on stock worth $18,000.
3. Had sex with both finalists in a hula hoop tournament.
4. Barfed on dress flight uniforms of both pilot and co-pilot.
5. Had sex with the daughter of a church deacon on the front row pew.
6. Performed espionage on both Baghdad and Israel during one three-year period.
7. Worked as a professional potato sorter at age five.
8. Survived 39 consecutive days of 5 a.m. intimidation supersonic sorties by the Israeli air force.
9. Managed to safely land small aircraft without my glasses.
10. Built a cannon during high school that could shoot oranges 1/4 mile.
Snart // January 20, 2008 at 5:19 pm |
Since my #2, 6, and 8 aren’t really unique, I’ll add these:
2. Haggled with an elf over the price of a penguin at Santa’s Workshop in North Pole.
6. Survived eating broken glass in my sandwich while in Amsterdam.
8. With a future crime thriller writer, ushered guests at a show for Marcel Marceau.
susan // January 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm |
Wow, Hiker Chick, are you serious? A potato sorter??!!
susan // January 20, 2008 at 5:29 pm |
In the interests of keeping my blog comment politics-free, I’ll add that Atwood is the more worthy person because she’s a superlative writer and not a politician of any stripe.
Patti // January 20, 2008 at 9:25 pm |
1. As a grad student, racked up a $300 library fine on a single book (reserve book, fine calculated by the minute). Kate, they wouldn’t let us take 90 books–at 50 we had to bring some back.
2. Taught in a castle for a year.
3. Played with an 8 week old Jaguar in my best friends’ (yes, that is a plural possessive) living room. Kitten energy + off-the-charts aggression = very cute, very scary little feline.
4. Saw J. K. Rowling hug my son.
5. Tried to find saltines and ginger ale in Paris when a third of our students came down with stomach flu.
6. Witnessed one of the aforementioned students come down with aforementioned stomach bug atop the Arc de Triomphe. Jolly hockeysticks!
7. Led a “Jane Austen lived here…and here…and here” walking tour in Bath, never having set foot in the city before.
8. Was apparently the only person NOT involved in the dust-up between the editor of the Catholic newspaper and the award-winning writer of thrillers.
9. Had my last visit to the orthodontist while in grad school (the first was in grade 3). 15 years of orthodontia was an office record.
10. Laid down on my back on the choir steps in York Minster to get a really good picture of the central tower.
Patti // January 20, 2008 at 10:05 pm |
I am not daring. I am boring. However, this morning began with some very un-boring firetrucks after I woke at 6:15 to the thought, “something smells wrong.” For lack of a better word, the house smelled hot, rather like a soldering iron. Then, as I wandered through the kitchen and down the basement stairs, sniffing like a basset hound, the smoke detector went off. Boy, dog, and I found ourselves in the driveway, in the dark, at -28 C (windchill -33). It turned out that the fan on the furnace had quit, but the furnace kept furnacing. One emergency visit from the furnace man and a cheque for a number of hundreds of dollars later all was well. I will never again complain about the smoke alarm going off when we make toast.
Patti // January 20, 2008 at 10:08 pm |
Insert a description of 3 firetrucks roaring up to the house after my first-ever 911 call in the fourth line from the end and an “and” into the penultimate line before “all” please.
djpaterson // January 20, 2008 at 10:09 pm |
1. Saved the life of an American man by donating part of my body, whilst I was (obviously) still alive.
2. Found out a few years later that he was the same age as me and had two boys who were exactly the same age as my two boys.
3. Been discharged from hospital with a leg in plaster but not given crutches – I couldn’t hold them as both arms were in plaster too.
4. Wrote an Othello (the board game) computer program in less than 3,503 bytes (that’s about 1/205,000 the size of what will fit on a single CD).
5. Known for about a year after a motorcycle accident exactly how much loose change I’d had in my pocket at the time – the relatively short-lived scars in my leg showed every coin in exact detail.
6. Employed my Dad when he thought he was too old to get another job before retirement (one of the best feelings in my life).
7. Spent this weekend in hospital (with my youngest son) counting apostrophe errors on hospital signs (over a dozen, if you are interested).
8. Had a nurse clip a frightening looking steel clip onto the end of something you never want a steel clip clipped on to – hospital related, but definitely not this weekend.
9. Was infected by a computer virus way back in the ‘80s.
10. Seen Meg’s “China Lake” handbag in real life.
daveg // January 20, 2008 at 10:54 pm |
1. Was shown around an illegal kanagaroo-orphan smuggling operation in Australia.
2. Was knocked over by John F Kennedy Jr at a golf tournament when I was 12. He apologised.
3. Own a Fender Stratocaster that has been played on stage with Phil Lynnot (by my dad – something I’ve yet to live up to!)
4. Played guitar in a Christmas episode of Ireland’s most popular soap opera.
5. Had an FBI profiler explain to me the different types of blood spatter my head would make if I was shot sitting down as opposed to standing up.
6. Actually said the words “Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?” before looking down and realise my sweater had caught fire.
7. Saw Eric Bell – original Thin Lizzy guitarist – play Whiskey in the Jar on stage with Metallica.
8. Was told by Glen Hansard after an amazing gig in Uncommon Ground in Chicago that he’d been nervous before playing, but saw my T-shirt with his band’s name and relaxed.
9. Partied in the same apartment that Guns n Roses stayed in when trying to write the Use Your Illusion albums in Chicago.
10.Evacuated an entire apartment building – that I was living illegally in at the time – just before a burning car exploded outside.
Patti // January 20, 2008 at 10:58 pm |
DJ, you saw The Handbag? Lucky man.
djpaterson // January 21, 2008 at 12:08 am |
Saved the best till last.
Meg // January 21, 2008 at 11:26 am |
I don’t want anybody to stop, but… I keep reading all these lists for pure enjoyment, to the point that I’m not getting much else done. I’m shaking my head with amazement at the sheer variety of your experiences.
Random observations:
The abundance of crashes, flips, rolls, head-ons, and multiple-limbs-in-plaster is slightly troubling. Does this say something about my readership?
TWO people who’ve swum with sharks?
The Canadians have a monopoly on fire-related activity. Something about the cold winters?
Susan, I can match your number 4 (skydiving daughter).
Sharon, the “late, great” John Diamond is right – I sure miss his clarity and courage.
Hiker Chick, I won the fight.
Ken // January 21, 2008 at 12:10 pm |
Meg, what truly amazes me is that none of the lists can, in any way, be considered ordinary or humdrum, that does say something about your readership. BTW the spiders are called button spiders here, 4 tiny white spots on the back but the classic red hourglass underneath, we are currently experiencing a mini infestation of them.
Snart // January 21, 2008 at 7:00 pm |
Meg, your memory is faulty. I believe the newspapers reported that you lost. Perhaps an afternoon cocktail of ginko would be in order!
Patti // January 22, 2008 at 3:23 pm |
Would the “newspapers” include a certain Catholic publication whose editor was perhaps involved in the fracas?
Snart // January 22, 2008 at 5:40 pm |
Now, Patti, that would be a conflict of interest! No, this would have been the world-renowned Goleta NewsPress!
Meg // January 22, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
Libel! She had cunning, honed from years of surviving life with four brothers. But I had height.
And my memory is fine. It was the Santa Barbara NewsPress. Or else the Goleta Sun “Sheriff’s Blotter” section.
Patti // January 22, 2008 at 7:33 pm |
Perhaps ginko shots all round? With a sodium pentothol chaser?
Snart // January 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm |
Meg O’Death, shall we have a rematch? I have not grown less cunning with the years. Plus, I’ve now watched Chuck Norris movies! Dost dare?
Werner // January 23, 2008 at 7:14 pm |
1. I found a young woman lying unconscious on railroad tracks at a commuter station and was able to save her from being hit by an oncoming train.
2. Saved my two daughters from choking to death using the Heimlich maneuver – in the same week.
3. Saved my youngest daughter from drowning in a pool – the same week as the choking incident.
4. Hiked the 100-mile Wilderness in Maine.
5. Was ground struck by lightning in a tent while camping. All three of us survived with burns and terrible headaches.
6. Came face-to-face (ten feet apart) with a black bear on a lonely trail. We both turned tail and ran away in opposite directions.
7. Came face-to-face with a HUGE bull moose. It was rutting season. He was not happy and charged. I lost him running through a thick stand of nettle bushes and climbed a tree.
8. Drove from Chicago, Illinois to Long Island, NY in 22 hours – non-stop.
9. The whole rear axel assembly, of a large semi, broke off the truck and bounced down the interstate toward me as I traveled at 70mph. I had no time to react. The axel bounced over my car and crushed the one immediately behind me.
10. Was swept off a commercial tuna boat with another guy during a storm. Just when we thought we were done for, another wave swept us back toward the boat where we were quickly hauled aboard.
Patti // January 23, 2008 at 8:04 pm |
This list is a warning to future travel companions, right?
WFMeyer // January 24, 2008 at 7:00 pm |
The hiking, road trip and fishing incidents all happened 15-20 years ago. Things are much quieter and safer these days
blond_David // March 20, 2008 at 10:37 pm |
10. Took yoga class in High School, held in the women’s locker room on the weekend. I was the only guy in the class. I was 15 and 16 years old.
9. After cycling through the Andermatt Pass (Swiss Alps), I came down the other side in highest gear, passing cars in hair pin turns. No railing. In 1977. Cycled from Strasbourg to Munich in one day, with a bike rack packed with full gear, on small roads, through the Black Forest and little villages. More than 220 miles. A teenager, I weighed 125 lbs.
8. In six days I drove from Winnipeg to Dallas, Houston, Galveston, Ciudad Juarez, Los Angeles (Pepperdine U), Las Vegas, Salt Lake City and Calgary, and returned the rental car in Winnipeg on the seventh day. Took a train to Vancouver. A week later, I got allowed onto a Vancouver to Montreal plane after telling them I had accidentally forgotten the ticket in my friend’s apartment. I found the ticket in my stuff when I got home, and I mailed it to the airline with a note thanking them. In 1982.
7. In 1984 I typeset my CV on an IBM360x without seeing it in anything like print-preview, routed it to print in the office of McGill University’s Principal, and went over there to pick it up from the executive assistant, who was not expecting it.
6.
Worked as a recruiter (headhunter) in the 80’s. Billed a half-million over three years and got paid less than one-seventh of that along with a lot of promises to make me a partner “in the future”; then they started giving me unrealistic assignments and stopped speaking to me. After a few months they had built their case, and they fired me, “for cause.” That was for two partners who split up a few years later after they expanded too big into a recession.
5.
From ages 19 to 35 almost every woman I went out with had more than one first name, used alternately, depending on who in the family she was with. Usually because her mother and father didn’t agree on the name when she was born and then they split up. These young women had multiple identities (or aliases) from the day they were born. In one case, it was different: she changed her name herself.
The woman I met at 36 (and I am still with) has a two-part name, part male and part female; her parents split up the year she was born, and then both got remarried several years later on the same day at the same time without knowing it.
4.
Looked young for most of my life. Too young for my age. The apparent age spread increased as I went through middle age.
1963 : JFK and Ruby on TV.
1967 : Went to Expo ‘67 all by myself whenever I wanted to. I took the bus.
1973 : Bob Dylan concert. Stayed up all night to buy four tickets.
1975 : Visited McGill University before registering as a freshman the following year; the staff there couldn’t believe I’d be coming back as a student, and I heard one joke about “McGill Elementary School” being more for me.
1987 : Bought a house in the suburbs, and got asked by everyone and anyone in the community what High School I went to.
1989 : Sold the house I owned, and held a house sale; visitors asked me often why my parents were not around while all this good stuff was being put up for sale.
In the 1990s it got worse. Finally, I decided to use it. In 1996 I applied to joined the Young Chamber of Commerce as a regular member, and got accepted. I networked like crazy. I was in my 40’s.
This happened to one of my brothers too. He was often asked what High School he went to, whenever he went anywhere outside of the college environment where he already had a PhD and was teaching. I’m glad to report that I have more muscle and weight, and my face has aged, and I now look middle-aged, but still younger than others of my age.
In the last decade it happens more often that people can look ten years younger than their age group. Non-smokers, eating good food, slim trim and fit. Today nobody asks young adults what school they are in. Being healthy, slim, not visibly muscular, is a possibility today. But way back in the 70’s and 80’s it was impossible to believe that someone might look ten or fifteen years younger than others of their age.
I left the Young Chamber of Commerce the same year its President spoke about Expo ‘67 and all he had heard about it from his parents and grandparents.
3.
Have never worked in any field that I studied in. The closest thing was eight months in sales and marketing support in a telecom manufacturer. Have six years’ University in math, engineering, computer science, linguistics and languages, a joint honors degree and sometimes had the highest mark in the class.
2.
One teacher I had at McGill deliberately tried to fail me, or to give me the hardest possible time. Four years after I finished that one-year course with her, I had my mark raised from a “D” to an A”. The course was intensive Russian language course, two years in one, worth double credit, a whole year long, so four times a one-semester course.
and, to top that:
She was vocally anti-semitic, and she told me she “knew” I was Jewish. (Which has never been true for me or anyone in my family tree). She told me she didn’t like my attitude, and would teach me a lesson to bring me down a notch.
Two years later the new Director of the department admitted that my disappointment was probably 100% real and valid, and he offered to raise my mark if I came back and took the third-year Russian language course.
1.
At a wedding I attended, where there were people from all over the world, the photographer took a long time getting the crowd photo “just right” so someone in the crowd said “Heil Hitler” and the photographer got a few more pictures after that and stopped. At midnight that night I was surrounded by several very drunk and angry people who had just escaped Argentinian persecution against Jews, and they were ready to teach me a lesson as strongly as possible, physically. I had to talk fast to tell them that I hadn’t said it, and that I didn’t feel comfortable naming or pointing out anyone else.
Moral of the story: if your personality is like mine, don’t learn a lot of languages because everyone will think you are “one of them”.
Suzy Q // July 26, 2008 at 3:22 am |
Well, “Snart”, Can’t imagine what you and Richard Basehart discussed in your letters of
correspondence…do tell! Do you know his son, Jack, who lives in Italy? Also, I’m curious, where were you when this correspondence was taking place?