No garden gnomes were harmed in the nude rampage

“Nude man runs amok, causing thousands of dollars in damage.“

LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) - Police in Pennsylvania say they’ve arrested a naked man who ran amok on Friday, attacking businesses near a resort area.

A supermarket and the nearby Willow Valley Resort hotel are assessing the damage. Authorities say some office space at the hotel was trashed, a forklift was driven into an interior wall, and an overhead sewer pipe was damaged.

Police say the man then entered a nearby market, and threw a 300-pound pizza oven to the floor. Among other equipment damaged in the incident — which was captured on surveillance cameras — was a $90,000 meat-wrapping machine.

The 28-year-old suspect had reportedly been a guest at the resort.

He’s now charged with risking a catastrophe, criminal mischief, open lewdness and other counts. He’s been ordered held in Lancaster County Prison on $200,000 bail.

“Risking a catastrophe?” I’ve never heard of such a crime. But in terms of potential catastrophes, a rampage that involves the phrases “naked man,” “meat-wrapping machine,” and “ran amok” would certainly be it.

(Via Sarah Weinman.)