And people think crime writers love blood?
“Demi Moore admits to bizarre beauty secret: ‘I let leeches suck my blood.’”
“I feel like I’ve always been someone looking for the cutting edge of things that optimise your health and healing.
“I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy. These aren’t just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly trained medical leeches.”
I had to turn my head, because spitting coffee directly onto a computer can wreck the logic board. Moore says leeching “detoxifies your blood - I’m feeling very detoxified right now.”
“You watch it swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter - then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it’s stumbling out of the bar.”
Miss Moore explained how she prepared herself for the leeches. “You have to do a turpentine bath first - that’s part of the therapy,” she said.
“The other thing I found out is that leeches don’t like hair so if you are hairy be prepared to do some shaving or waxing - they much prefer a Brazilian.”
At this point the Husband found me on the floor, laughing so hard that I needed the Heimlich maneuver. When I read aloud to him that “leeches don’t like hair,” he nodded sagely and said, “God has blessed me. I have never been attacked by a leech. Not even a medically trained one.”
Moore reminisces: “You first feel worse then you feel better. But I’m going back - I only got four leeches and I feel a bit cheated.”
Next: beauty experts drill holes in celebrities’ heads, as the Incas did, to let toxic vapors escape.
(Via Althouse.)

10 responses so far ↓
Don // March 26, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Wow. I was just thinking if you could pop a leech like a balloon when it gets all nice and fat.
Where do those leeches go anyway? What do you mean they prefer a Brazilian, as in a Brazilian from Brazil or as in a Brazilian shave?
Dan // March 26, 2008 at 1:44 pm
If I were Ms. Moore, I would refuse deal with medical leeches unless they graduated from Harvard or Johns Hopkins. You just can’t trust leeches that went to inferior schools.
Antony B // March 26, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Anybody else reminded of the doctor in Blackadder II?
Doctor: As far as this case is concerned I have now had time to think it over and I can strongly recommend a course of leeches.
Edmund: Yes. I ‘ll pop a couple down my codpiece before I go to bed.
Doctor Leech: No, no, no, no. Don’t be ridiculous. This isn’t the dark ages. Just pop four in your mouth in the morning and let them dissolve slowly.
susan // March 26, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Hmmm, does anyone remember the crossing-the-river scene from Stand By Me?
Oh wait, those were no-class river leeches.
Monita // March 26, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Susan, yes! One of my favorite movies! Little did poor Wil Wheaton know that, instead of rolling his little eyes up and fainting dead away, he should have been grateful for an expensive beauty treatment…
SteveC // March 27, 2008 at 2:10 pm
“…experts drill holes in celebrities’ heads…” - you know, I think you may be onto something.
Monita // March 27, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Ooooh, goody, can we nominate celebrities to have their heads drilled? I nominate Paris!
Literate Housewife // March 27, 2008 at 9:17 pm
A Brazilian? Where exactly are they putting these leeches?
Meg // March 28, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Even thinking about it makes me feel faint, Literate Housewife.
Literate Housewife // March 30, 2008 at 4:10 am
I just saw a picture of Demi from an upcoming movie and leeches were all I could think about. I doubt I can ever watch another of her movies. That’s what happens with TMI…
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