lying for a living

Shortly after climbing on my high, galloping horse for a rant about Justice Department chicanery, I read this story, which made me even more furious: Airliners plot: the allegations.

Eight men arrested in the UK last summer for conspiring to blow up transatlantic jetliners with bombs disguised as soft drinks — yes, these are the guys we can thank for the fact that all our bottled water and contact lens solution is confiscated at airport security — have just gone on trial. Notes the BBC: “The alleged plan was to target a series of planes leaving from Heathrow Airport for North America. Police say they found a list of flights on a memory stick belonging to Mr Ali following his arrest.”

Here’s the list of flights.

• 1415 UA931 LHR-SAN FRANCISCO (United Airlines)
• 1500 AC849 LHR-TORONTO (Air Canada)
• 1515 AC865 LHR-MONTREAL (Air Canada)
• 1540 UA959 LHR-CHICAGO (United)
• 1620 UA925 LHR-WASHINGTON
• 1635 AA131 LHR-NEW YORK (American Airlines)
• 1650 AA91 LHR-CHICAGO (American)

At which point my skull began to implode, and I swore out loud again, using words I can’t print here because they’d make your computers shoot sparks and cartwheel off the desk in a cloud of black smoke. UA 931 to San Francisco is the flight my children, my mom, my husband, and I have taken so often that the United ground staff greets us by name at the airport. UA 959 to Chicago — I’ve taken that on my way to Oklahoma. And UA 925 to Washington — well, that one generally pulls into gate C17 at Dulles. The gate’s twenty yards from Borders, where I always count on grabbing a new book before I catch my connection. My husband could navigate that concourse blindfolded.

But that San Francisco flight is the one that got me. Assholes. Plan to blow up a jet that my kids, or my mom, might be aboard? Just thinking about it made me want to go all Kid Rock “American Badass” on these guys. Maybe even all Toby Keith “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” on them.

And as I sat fuming, deep in my head a little voice whispered, So, you still think the U.S. military should play nice and abide by the Fourth Amendment while terrorists are on the loose?

And I fumed some more, and I thought: Yeah.

Because it’s not either-or. It’s not a choice between protecting the constitution and stopping terrorists. The law got these guys. Now if they’re guilty, let’s put them away. Then they’ll feel “like the whole wide world is raining down on you.” That’d be a great way to bring justice courtesy of the red, white and (in this case, Union Jack) blue.