Finally. Time to announce the winner and runners-up in the contest to have a character in my new novel named after you.
But first, a thank you to everyone who entered. Your creativity amazes me. Reading through your submissions still makes me laugh. Before I announce the prizewinners, here are a few shout-outs:
To Phil — for mentioning the Argentinian Sidling Gnome.
To Susan — for “She couldn’t see DeForest for the trees.” You knew from the start your chances of winning were low, because, as you pointed out, you won my previous contest and now your namesake is “massively dead.” But you entered anyway. Kudos.
To Antony B — for brevity.
To Snart and Dan — for mentioning Tater Tots.
To C.D. and Kelly — for presuming that editing, and editors, turn me murderous.
To Matt — for Grandma’s cut-and-paste.
To Eddie — for the Jeopardy reference.
To Dana Jean — for having the chutzpah to write the words, “His jock itch ebbing and flowing like the English Channel on a warm moonlit night.”
To Thymebandit — Well, now. Gnomefinger must be dealt with. I need your address so I can send you a book. Yes, a book. Mwahahahahaha!
And now, the prizewinners.
These three runners-up will each get signed books:
And for the winning entry, we have a dead heat. These two contestants will each have a character in the new book named after him:
Congratulations!
Winners: email me at meg@meggardiner.com with the address where you’d like the books mailed.
Good job and congrats everyone! That was fun. Thanks Meg.
Well, Meg, I just had to acknowledge something we have in common. You did better on the show than I did.
I humbly accept the honour. Thanks Meg.
I had to explain the sudden whoop of delight to the rest of the family.
Woohoo! Me too! (Knew I’d get my name in print one way or another).
Well done, Ken, Candice, Rich and Catherine.
Can’t wait to find out if and how I die!
DJ
Ken and DJ, congratualtions! I can think of no honor higher from the delightful Ms. Gardiner than to be lovingly dispatched into the next world. Can immortality really be that easy?
Thank you Meg. I resolve to continue coming up with lunatic captions until you are finally so weary of them you will kill me off too. I’m hoping for a guillotine. :>)
Well damn. Having read all of the entries, I’ll give Meg credit for choosing some great entries. Still, I am humbled and vow to try harder next time. Bleed, damned creativity, bleed until you can bear it no more! Oh, shoot, that would have been another good caption. Drats. Foiled again. Next time, Meg O’Death, next time!
Congrats to Ken and DJ, and to the runners-up. You’ve set the bar higher now, durn your hides! Enjoy your deaths!
Thanks for the shout out Meg! You’re kind and generous as always.
Ooh, awesome! Congrats to everyone. The entries were hilarious – it’d have been fun to read them, competition or no. I’ll email in the morning after I’ve finally slept. Three hours in the bath reading Jericho Point. Three. I’m not sure what disturbs me more – the fact I’m a prune or that I wanted Evan to sleep with the other guy *avoids spoilers*. :\
A book? A book you say? If it’s a copy of A Gnome’s Guide to World Domination, I already have a copy. Several in fact, after it was remaindered and I…erm…I mean whoever the author was – felt a distinct chill in the income area, especially after pre-publication had gone so well. So I heard.
Ooo, congrats to all the winners and runners-up and indeed all the entries, because it was such a hoot to enjoy all that creativity.
Ken and DJ, I can warn you, there’s a kind of nerve-wracking, nail-biting thrill reading a book and wondering, with each turn of the page, if each strange new character will turn out to be the one bearing your name, and what will be their painful fate.
Looking forward to see you in print.