Comments of the year

This blog wouldn’t be what it is without my hilarious and thoughtful commenters. Here are just a few of my favorite comments from 2008.

“There’s a thong on my brain and I can’t stop thinging it.” – Ken, on the thong bandits.

“It’s the perfect time to say to the thief, ‘Hey there, little guy.’” – Eddie suggests a response to the crook nabbed with frozen shrimp stuffed down his pants.

“What happens in Fresno, stays in Fresno.” — Sleeplessnsb on the burglar who rubbed one victim with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

e.e. cummings has taken over my brain in protest – Jeff Abbott rebels against International Cap Locks Day.

“Or, perhaps, Apawtheosis?” – Patti suggests a name for my next villain, Apotheosis the Thieving Raccoon.

“Are three-inch heels effective against crocs and/or husband?” – C.D. Reimer wonders about my thrill-seeking activities.

“C. D., three-inch heels are their very own adventure and far more lethal to the one wielding them than to any putative opponent.” – Patti explains things to him.

“One can only shudder at the thought of…The Incredible Journey 3: Deep Throat.” — Eddie on Today’s punctuation malfunction.

“Extreme ironing–Yes!” — Laurie R. King puts in her vote for a new Olympic sport.

“Extreme ironing–isn’t that the same as curling, just on ice?” — Monita is confounded by Laurie’s choice.

“The malfunctioning laser carving obscenities into the moon was eclipsed only by a crazy woman leaping around the yard, exclaiming: ‘Finally! The plot for the next Evan Delaney novel!’” — Candice foresees a news report following my invitation to witness a demonstration of the world’s most powerful laser.

“Well, I guess that apart from pointing furiously, they weren’t going to rat her out…” — Daveg on dog-cloner/kidnapper Bernann McKinney, who jumped bail and fled the UK by disguising herself as part of a Mime troupe.

“Just seeing a picture of ‘The Homewrecker’ made me want to make an appointment with a cardiologist.” — Dan on “The biggest, baddest of all the weenies.”

“I’ve heard of hair moose, but….” – Snart on hair-hats shaped like animals.

“I’m curious about what he is recovering from that acting as a naked penguin can be considered therapeutic.” — Patti, on the lawyer who worked as a nude model while on sick leave.

“The Refectory. Other worldly chanting (ethereal) can be heard. It is just after Lauds.

Sister Mary rolls up the sleeves of her gown, sits back on the wooden chair, looks around and has a stealthy draw of a cig before peering at the screen.

She chortles and takes a bite out of her doorstep bacon butty.

“Da Vinci assassin monks? Eeee, flower, thy must be jestin’ What does like of us want wi’ them pansies? We’re Yorkshire women here luv.”

Taking time to flex her arm to crack a walnut at her elbow, she smiles sweetly.

“An’ bring that big hairy lad on. We’ll sort ‘im out too.”

– Thymebandit, plotting behind my back because The monk’s on my team.

“Scariest part of the festival was you and Jeff sitting together at the signing table. I thought I was entering South Central Harrogate and wearing the wrong colors.

It didn’t help that I was sweating with a bag full of Jeff Abbott bookmarks, most of which were illegally obtained from unoccupied seats, and Tom Rob Smith’s posse was blocking a clear line to the exit.”

– Dave has a narrow escape from my gang at the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival.

“I hear that there are rabid ferrets at Chaucer’s. I read it in a book once. Is it safe now? (Oh, that was FICTION? Never mind.)” – Snart fears coming to my booksigning.

“If it was Chaucer’s, I think they would be “ferretys.” – Patti reassures her.

“I’m a book girl. That is the plain and simple truth about who I am…
I’m not a jewelry girl; I don’t do the shoe thing–I love owning books. I now own more books than I will ever be able to read in a lifetime, yet, I still go out and buy books. I spent over a thousand dollars last year on books. When I go to the gym and walk round and round the track, I am holding a book. People jog by me with those Ipod things and Mp3 and their AK47’s and their IUDs , but I love holding that book in my hands. There is something so satisfying about book ownership and I hope to have additional bookshelves to display ALL my books.

It did take me some time to get used to walking and reading, though. There is an art to walking and reading to keep you from knocking into walls and sort of weaving back and forth across the lanes all dizzy-like.

But, I beg to differ, a good book in hand CAN electrify a person.”

– Dana Jean understands that there will always be books because they can’t electrocute you in the bathtub.

Thanks, guys. Here’s to 2009. Happy New Year.

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