Since I expressed my disbelief that a California charity benefit would raise money by frying and serving up 400 pounds of bull testicles, you all have been enlightening me as to the taste and consistency of Rocky Mountain Oysters, as cattle ‘nads are called in America’s finer restaurants.
Now Dana Jean writes from an undisclosed location deep in North America, which I have promised not to reveal except to say that it’s probably within a week’s drive of the Continental Divide. Let’s just call it Oyster country:
In my neck of the woods, ball eating is a yearly event. Sort of like “The Lottery” minus the stones. Oh, wait, there are stones involved…
And she sends a link to the most bizarre charity commercial I’ve ever seen.
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In New Zealand they arent just happy to eat them, they have a race as well. Warning, picture may put you off your breakfast/lunch/dinner.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Men_eat_bulls_balls_to_be_crowned_Shemozzle_champion&in_article_id=401075&in_page_id=2
This Bob Dylan/Bohemian poetry night reading by “Bull” was quite profound. His angst was palpable in today’s bourgeois existence…I snapped my fingers and wailed.
Whatever.
Thanks for the link, Don. The “shepherds’ shemozzle” is quite a race:
“As part of the competition, punters had to bite into the balls and carry them in their mouths for 50m.
“Winner Josh Masters looked on the bright side when asked about the taste of testies.
“‘Best of all, they weren’t connected to anything.’”
Sort of along the same lines, have you seen these artificial “balls” guys hang from the back of their pick up trucks?
Here’s an article about them:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/22/AR2007022201426.html
My husband wants some of these so bad and I’m looking at him like he has lost his ever lovin’ mind. I swear, he sticks a scrote and balls on his vehicle and it’s a deal breaker.
I wish I could have found a good picture of them for you. They drive me nuts!
They drive you “nuts”? You really do have them on your mind.
There better not be any nuts dangling off my mind or someone’s got some ‘splainin’ to do!
Have you heard of Neuticles? Prosthetic testicles for pets. Seriously.
So you can have your animals fixed but still have them retain that “natural” look.
I love these kinds of laws, Dana Jean, (when they don’t pass) because it’s fun to see the legislators try to come up with language specific enough to enforce. Several years back in Florida, for example, anti-thong legislators had to define the “anal cleft” (I guess putting “butt crack” on the books would have made them a laughing stock.)
I love the truck ornament industry’s response:
gargoyle, I have heard of those Neuticles and I think that is just silly sad. These are more for the guy owner than the dog. God forbid he has to walk a nutless wonder of a canine in front of his friends.
I don’t think the dog gives a dang what’s down there. Actually, I think NOT having them would be more conducive to the obligatory ass dragging some dogs like to do. I mean, getting a sac all tangled up between the ground and ones own behiney would hurt, right? One of you guys try that for me and then come report back.
They also use something along these lines for men who’ve lost a testicle to cancer or accident etc… which is a much more understandable situation.
Dana Jean, thanks for my first laugh of the morning
meg, did you see the other commercials? Apparently they ran 3 along the same line.
Here is another one:
I particularly like the use of the words, “man junk.”
I’ve just eaten, Dana Jean. Give me a while before I watch it.
Gargoyle, as the English would say: bollocks!