(For the genesis of “Bus Plunge,” see here. Or read Part One.)
Twas the day after Solstice when all through the bus
The Honorable Mentions kicked up quite a fuss
Pantyhose hung from the windows on a dare
In hopes that The Nightmare Thief soon would be there.
The Honorables wrestled and fought with real dread
While visions of a super plunge screamed in their heads.
When up on the road there arose such a clatter
The flagmen and truckers fled from impending splatter.
For what to their wondering eyes should appear
But a paisley bus swerving like it had drunk too much beer.
With a lead-footed driver, so frantic and sick,
They knew in a moment it must be a hick.
More loudly than rock stars his passengers sang
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now! Patti, now! Susan, now! Now, Dan! And, hell, Flakes!
“On Ron, and on Rich, and yeah, you — Dana Jean!
“To the emergency exit, now dash away all!”
So straight through the DEAD END sign the bus finally flew
And over the BRIDGE OUT sign — yep, that one too.
And as Big Paisley took flight from the cliff
(Like the bus in Speed but without that Bullock chick)
The honorables leaped from its windows and belly
And hit the roadside like bowlfuls of jelly.
When Jo Beckett got there the scene was not merry
Evan Delaney agreed: “That bus — it was cherry.”
They picked through the wreckage and found little clues:
A single squashed Ho Ho; a lute with a blown fuse.
Then spotting a drip, Evan gave a bright whistle:
“Brake line’s been cut. The bus was a missile.”
Jo thought and she thought, till her brain got a blister.
“It wasn’t the unicorn — must be the jester.”
They glanced over the edge, where the plunging bus fell,
And yes — heard the tinkle of a jester hat’s bell.
The case thus ’twas solved, and they drove out of sight,
Wishing happy tidings to all, and to all a good night.
