Monthly Archives: August 2011

“I’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me.”

Take a look at this new JC Penney T-shirt. The catalogue page says: “Who has time for homework when there’s a new Justin Bieber album out? She’ll love this tee that’s just as cute and sassy as she is.”

Let’s call this an open thread. Because anything I have to say about this might cause my computer to spew flames and blow up.

UPDATE: JCPenney has pulled the shirt from sale and apologized. Good. But the question remains: Who thought this was a good idea?

IN THE COMMENTS: DJ Paterson wins the Internet. “This is just downright offensive. I mean, who in their right mind has let the Bieber release a new album?”

Souvenirs de Sang

Here’s a new edition of one of the Jo Beckett novels, freshly translated. It opens:

Longtemps après, Seth n’avait rien oublié, l’air froid, la lumière rougeoyante qui zébrait le ciel vers l’ouest, la musique dans ses oreilles et son propre souffle profond. Longtemps après il comprit, et sa prise de conscience se ficha dans sa mémoire telle une épine. À aucun moment il ne les avait entendus arriver.

Can you guess which book it is? If not, I haven’t plastered enough clues around this post.

Souvenirs de Sang will be published in September by Fleuve Noir.

Alternate Histories: Monsters and Aliens

Today in cool stuff I have randomly discovered:

“Alternate Histories: Where the Past Comes Monstrously to Life.” These posters depict “Monsters, aliens, robots and more” as they “frolic” through our imagined past.

I may have to get some of these posters for the History majors and Disasterologists in my family.

(Via Boing Boing.)

Writers Read: what’s on my bookshelf

Over at Campaign for the American Reader, Marshal Zeringue gets me to talk about what I’m reading right now.

At the moment I’m reading two vastly different books about music. The big, bad, serious nonfiction book is The Rest is Noise, Alex Ross’s majestic and incisive history of music in the Twentieth Century.

The second book is Carl Hiaasen’s novel Star Island. Read my little compare-and-contrast essay about the two books:

Hurricane? Get yourself a snorkel

(Photo: NASA via Ron Garan on the International Space Station.)

Hurricane Irene is rolling up the east coast of North America. I hope everybody in its path stays safe. To my cousins in Virginia: I know you thought that moving from Tornado Alley to the east coast would lessen the chances that Mother Nature would make your lives exciting. Sorry you’re getting an earthquake and hurricane in the same week.

To my son in New York City: You’re an Eagle Scout. I trust that you’ll be prepared. So I will resist the urge to ask whether you’ve got fresh batteries for the flashlight. And food. And whether you’ve filled the bathtub, in case you lose water pressure. And most important — whether you stopped by the Strand Bookstore to pick up enough books to get you through a weekend hunkered down in Brooklyn.

Books! Honey, do you have enough books for the hurricane?

On my side of the Atlantic, the storm won’t hit until late next week. And I doubt that when it gets here it’ll be anything like a hurricane. But people in Wales will be ready. This weekend is the 2011 World Bog Snorkelling Championship at Llanwrtyd Wells. “A host of crazy competitors will battle it out in a sixty-yard peat bog for the coveted title of ‘World Champion Bog Snorkeller’. The dirtiest water sport of the year!!”

Come on, Irene.

The president’s reading. For fun & enlightenment. So shut up.

It’s late August. It’s the silly season. Maybe that’s why there have been so many stupid and snide articles about President Obama’s summer vacation reading list.

The Atlantic Wire rounds up some of the overheated commentary:

First, the reading choices themselves: “Saturday’s pool reports” revealed he purchased two books for himself: The Bayou Trilogy, a collection by Daniel Woodrell (author of Winter’s Bone), and Ward Just’s Rodin’s Debutante (set in Chicago). He added that to the books he carried with him, which include two novels and a history, according to the Los Angeles Times: Abraham Verghese’s bestseller Cutting for Stone, David Grossman’s story of a family in Israel, To the End of the Land, which was a finalist for the 2010 National Book Critics Circle Award in fiction, and 2010 NBCC nonfiction winner The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration, by Isabel Wilkerson.

First out of the gate with a sneer is Greta Van Susteren: “While the country’s economy gyrates with uncertainty, our leader is reading ‘fiction.’”

Then, in Salon, Robin Black laments, “President Obama: Why don’t you read more women?” Black complains that the books purchased this week are 70% male, and that the president’s reading list over the past three years skews even more strongly toward male authors.

Now the fact that the president of the United States apparently doesn’t read women writers is not the greatest crisis facing the arts, much less the nation — but it’s upsetting nevertheless. As I suspect Obama would agree, matters of prejudice are never entirely minor, even when their manifestations may seem relatively benign.

Ooh, burn. Burn with the heat of a thousand pissy glares. Her assertion that the president has a “prejudice” against women authors is audacious enough. But then she suggests that she can “help” cure the president of this moral failing — by sending him her own recently published short story collection. Luckily, my window was closed, or I might have flung the computer outside.

But the champion in the stupidity sweepstakes is the column by Tevi Troy at National Review: What’s Obama Reading?

[These books] may constitute the oddest assortment of presidential reading material ever disclosed, for a number of reasons. First, five of the six are novels, and the near-absence of nonfiction sends the wrong message for any president, because it sets him up for the charge that he is out of touch with reality.

Whunk. That sound is my head, hitting my desk, repeatedly. Or maybe it’s the sound of William F. Buckley spinning like a weedwacker in his grave. Honest to God, claiming that people who read fiction can be judged as losing contact with reality? That’s the level of intellectual argument that gets past today’s editors at National Review? Whunk.

Beyond the issue of fiction vs. nonfiction, there is also the question of genre. The Bayou Trilogy has received excellent reviews, but it is a mystery series. While there is nothing wrong with that per se, not every presidential reading selection is worth revealing to the public. Bill Clinton, for example, used to love mysteries, but he did not advertise the titles of what he once called “my little cheap thrills outlet.”

Them’s fightin’ words. Mr. Troy, you can call my books cheap genre trash all day long. You can tell me to hide them in a brown paper bag. You can tell me to hide my own self in a brown paper bag from the shame of writing cheap little thrills. But do not mess with Daniel Woodrell. The man’s a genius, and his books are beautiful, brilliant, heartbreaking and true.

This year’s list suggests that Obama needs to consider the messages sent by his reading more carefully. According to Mickey Kaus, the Obama list is “heavy on the wrenching stories of immigrant experiences, something the President already knows quite a bit about.”

Because… he moved from Honolulu to Chicago? That must be it. Holy cow.

[T]he annual book list should be a relatively easy way to make the president appear to be on top of things and in control. This year’s list, alas, reveals a president who appears to be neither.

Troy is “senior fellow at the Hudson Institute and a former senior White House aide.” The Hudson Institute is a think tank. And I’ve known people who were fellows there — people I respected and admired. But if this is the current quality of the analysis their fellows produce, Hudson should strike the word “think.” Because they’re just tanking. Sheesh.

(By the way, while I’ve been sitting here frothing and pounding at the keyboard and muttering darkly, the Husband has declared that all these commentators are asking the wrong question. They should be asking: Is the president reading books by left handers? The Husband also wonders whether President Reagan ever read a book during his tenure in office. He suspects that the Gipper read Mad magazine.)

Look here: the president went to a bookstore. While he was on vacation. He came out with an armful of books. The leader of the free world thinks that reading is cool. We should be celebrating that.

End rant.

Lost in translation again

Me: My dad was an English professor.

British friend: I didn’t know your father was English! What did he teach?

Contest alert

Dana Jean asks: “Will there be a contest for this book? I love these contests, they make me laugh.”

Glad to hear it. To answer your question: Yes. Soon.

What’s your view? Creatures huge and small

Here are more of your photos.

Rich writes: “I found this guy in my house and carried him outside to photograph him. Imagine my surprise to learn it is called an Assassin Bug.”

Maybe this bird will guard you: “A Red Shoulder Hawk I found in my neighborhood.”

And Ron sends this photo: “Bubba is the 2011 Iowa State Fair ‘Champion Big Bull.’ He is 6 years old, is a Charolais (breed), and is owned by Stalcup Farms Charolais, Prescott, IA.”

And he has demon eyes. Perfect!

The Page 69 Test: The Nightmare Thief

The Page 69 Test is so called because Marshall McLuhan suggested that you should choose your reading by turning to page 69 of a book and, if you like it, read it. And now The Nightmare Thief is subjected to the Page 69 Test:

“In The Nightmare Thief, an ‘urban reality game’ goes wrong and traps a group of college students in the Sierra Nevada wilderness, fighting for survival along with series heroine Jo Beckett. The novel’s a thriller: it features action, life-and-death danger, and relentless killers hunting down injured innocents.

“And that’s what you’ll find on Page 69.”

You can find out what else I said here.

“We were trapped inside a target for the rebels.”

Talk about staying cool under pressure. This dispatch comes from the BBC’s Matthew Price, under fire at the Rixos Hotel in Tripoli:

For several hours heavy weapons rocked the building. Bullets whistled overhead, whining through the fading light.

We gathered – the international media together – to work out what we might do. Body armour on, escape routes chosen. No route to the port, no boats there to take us out anyway.

Then the hotel chef came up and asked us if we would like dinner.

Libya conflict: Fighting rages near Gaddafi compound.

Anybody who wants to be a foreign correspondent should read this article. Several times.

Read, watch, listen?

This week’s going to be head-down time, as I dig into my novel in progress. So help me out. What are you reading, watching, listening to?

I’ll start:

Books:

  • The Rest is Noise, Alex Ross
  • Star Island, Carl Hiaasen

Movies:

  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
  • Super 8

Music:

  • Saint-Saëns: Piano Concerto No. 2
  • Florence and the Machine: Lungs

UPDATE: I promised Emma Taylor that the next time I blogged about book recommendations I’d link to her article,  “50 Indispensable African-American Novels.” And then I forgot the link. D’oh! Take a look and let Emma know if you have any other suggestions for her.

What’s your view? Spiders & Sci Fi edition

Here are some more photos from readers. Take them as peaceful nature shots, or as eerie visions of arachnophobia and quantum mechanical terror-thriller mayhem. Your choice!

Greg Wade sends this photo of a Lynx Spider: “This is an extreme macro view of my backyard in Simi Valley, CA. My wife got the shot (I’m not photographer) while this cutie rested on a leaf.”

And here are a couple more from Dan’s neighborhood, Tinley Park, Illinois.

Who’s seen Source Code?

Why yes, to my mind these peaceful Chicago-area shots do look like stills from the sci fi thriller. So tell me: Where’s Jake Gyllenhaal? I demand some Jake. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

“If she’d known it was her last one, maybe she would have dressed better.”

Wig-Wearing ‘Bad Hair Bandit’ Was Prison Nurse, Officials in Idaho Say.

She had a penchant for clumsy wigs, traveled with her cat and worked as a prison nurse in Idaho — when she was not crisscrossing the Pacific Northwest robbing banks.

But after a string of successful hits on at least 19 banks in four states, Cynthia Van Holland — who law enforcement officers believe is the suspect known as the Bad Hair Bandit — ran into bad luck.

Van Holland and her husband were arrested after a bank robbery in Auburn, California. Besides the money, “A cat was found in the back seat of the car with ‘a litter box, toys and all the things a cat would need,’ said Dena Erwin, a spokeswoman for the sheriff’s department.”

Van Holland is suspected of robbing 20 banks in Washington, Oregon, and California, “wearing a series of raggedy black, blond, red and brown wigs.”

I bet she wishes she’d gone with a balaclava instead.