“Booger is back,” I wrote a couple of days ago, about the woman who cloned her dead pit bull. But apparently Booger isn’t the only specter that’s risen from the dead. The woman, Bernann McKinney, has now seen her past come back to haunt her. And it’s — it’s — oh, my God, I couldn’t make this up. If I tried, nobody would believe me.
She is, it seems, Joyce McKinney, a woman who was at the center of a British criminal trial dubbed by newspapers at the time the “manacled Mormon” case.
In 1977, the former Miss Wyoming stalked her lover, a Mormon missionary, to a tabernacle in East Ewell, Surrey, allegedly kidnapped him and held him in a cottage in Devon. There, the 17-stone Kirk Anderson claimed, his petite, busty admirer tied him to a bed using mink-trimmed handcuffs, slipped into a see-through nightie and forced him into sex. At a remand hearing she declared her love for the Mormon with the immortal line: “I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.”
Wait — it gets better.
Confronted with allegations yesterday, she denied being the woman who fled an Old Bailey trial in the 1970s.
Yes, McKinney bolted from her criminal trial and fled Great Britain.
To flee on bail, she donned a red wig and disguised herself as a member of a mime troupe, together with her alleged accomplice, Keith May. No extradition warrant was issued. William Hucklesby, the detective who led the inquiry, said: “My own view is that we were well rid of her.”
There’s plenty more, but reading the article is like eating an entire cheesecake: too rich to swallow all at once. I even know the attorney, Bob Marshall-Andrews, QC, who represented McKinney’s accomplice. He told the Times, “My instinct is that the prosecuting authorities. . . were very pleased to see the back of them. I myself was rather sorry. She was a woman of considerable presence.”
Earlier, I asked, “How does this not end with fangs and screaming?” Now I know how. It ends with fake mimes and mink-trimmed handcuffs.
Read the entire article. I have to go catch my breath.
(Via Sarah Weinman.)