The past bites Booger’s mistress

“Booger is back,” I wrote a couple of days ago, about the woman who cloned her dead pit bull. But apparently Booger isn’t the only specter that’s risen from the dead. The woman, Bernann McKinney, has now seen her past come back to haunt her. And it’s — it’s — oh, my God, I couldn’t make this up. If I tried, nobody would believe me.

She is, it seems, Joyce McKinney, a woman who was at the center of a British criminal trial dubbed by newspapers at the time the “manacled Mormon” case.

“Bernann McKinney’s strange journey from Mormon sex case to clones called Booger.”

In 1977, the former Miss Wyoming stalked her lover, a Mormon missionary, to a tabernacle in East Ewell, Surrey, allegedly kidnapped him and held him in a cottage in Devon. There, the 17-stone Kirk Anderson claimed, his petite, busty admirer tied him to a bed using mink-trimmed handcuffs, slipped into a see-through nightie and forced him into sex. At a remand hearing she declared her love for the Mormon with the immortal line: “I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.”

Wait — it gets better.

Confronted with allegations yesterday, she denied being the woman who fled an Old Bailey trial in the 1970s.

Yes, McKinney bolted from her criminal trial and fled Great Britain.

To flee on bail, she donned a red wig and disguised herself as a member of a mime troupe, together with her alleged accomplice, Keith May. No extradition warrant was issued. William Hucklesby, the detective who led the inquiry, said: “My own view is that we were well rid of her.”

There’s plenty more, but reading the article is like eating an entire cheesecake: too rich to swallow all at once. I even know the attorney, Bob Marshall-Andrews, QC, who represented McKinney’s accomplice. He told the Times, “My instinct is that the prosecuting authorities. . . were very pleased to see the back of them. I myself was rather sorry. She was a woman of considerable presence.”

Earlier, I asked, “How does this not end with fangs and screaming?” Now I know how. It ends with fake mimes and mink-trimmed handcuffs.

Read the entire article. I have to go catch my breath.

(Via Sarah Weinman.)

9 responses to “The past bites Booger’s mistress

  1. I’m going to have to print that article out. It’s the newspaper equivalent of watching Airplane: every time I read it I see something I didn’t catch before.

    Like escaping by hiding out in a mime troupe. Well, I guess that apart from pointing furiously, they weren’t going to rat her out…

  2. I keep wondering if fiction writers can come up with something truly outrageous without it being done in real life.

    The other day I saw a brief article in the paper about a cross-dressing male bank robber who got caught with the stolen money in his purse after being chased by a police officer who was just walking by the bank.

    I’m not sure what’s incredible here: the cross-dressing bank robber, the cop walking by the bank, or both of them happening at the same time?

  3. Kitsap county, step aside!

    Actually, Meg, some of Ms. McKinney’s antics sound like some of Evan’s more hyperbolic moments (I’m thinking Gidget goes process serving, escape from the wedding band, return from Vegas). The mime troupe has considerable possibilities.

    In the world of bizarre-but-true, Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church were making lots of noise about picketing the funeral of a poor guy from Winnipeg who was beheaded on a bus trip to Edmonton. Apparently, this was divine retribution against the moral laxity of all of Canada. They ended up not showing, but it’s another reminder of how fine the line is between news and fiction.

  4. Ugh — Fred Phelps and the church of “Look at me! Look at me!” Thank God there’s an international border between him and total madness.

    As for Ms. McKinney, yes, she could have stepped out of one of Evan’s adventures. In fact, I am mightily peeved that she used both the mime and the nun disguises for one single madcap flight from prosecution. I was planning to put them to good fictional use in two separate novels. Glory hog.

  5. I remember my mom’s friend going to prison a good decade or so back. He had tried to rob a post office. He was a 6+ foot bodybuilder but he decided his disguise was going to be a woman. He bought a wig, shaved his legs, donned a dress – and then wondered why he got caught…

    Has this woman named the dogs yet? I can totally see her going for ‘Booger 2, Booger 3, Booger 4…’

  6. Hi
    I am doing research on this fake cloning Booger story. Ms McKinney is a serial liar. she lied about being a screen writer, she lied about teaching drama “at several US colleges, she lied at first about being the Mormon rapist, and did you know she did not have to pay full 150,0o0 USD fee, reduced to just 50,000 for her, because she HELPED OUT with publicity, according to the lab. read between the lines, those dogs were not cloned from booger’s dna, they are just normal puppies, cute as hell, but we been had by a serial liar. i am looking into this. it’s funny, and sad. WATCH THIS STORY IMPLODE…..

  7. HERE ARE THE TRUE FACTS!….The commenter above –DANNY BLOOM–is a total nut and HE is the LIAR! Miss McKinney is a former Miss Wyoming who once ran for MISS USA. She did her M.A. and Ph.D. work in college [ETSU, University of Tennessee, BYU, University of Utah] majoring in Screenwriting. She taught at BYU and ETSU. (She has a four page resume– too lengthy to print all of it here!) She WAS NEVER EVEN CHARGED with raping a Mormon! The Mormon cult’s PR teams fabricated that story to cover up a love affair with one of their missionaries who had asked her to marry him. They have a billion dollar racket going and The Missionary Image is everything to them. He was 300 pounds and 6’5” tall. She was 112 pounds. In England, according to the Britishers’ law books, “A WOMAN CANNOT BE CHARGED WITH RAPING A MAN”. Danny Bloom is slandering this woman, as others have done. He and others owe her an apology. The puppies were verified as genuine clones by the University of California at Davis genetics department. They are the world’s first commercially cloned dogs and cost over ten million dollars in research to reproduce because their Clone Parent was a unique service dogs with the unique ability to REASON, which is why the Koreans were so amazed by him. Miss McKinney is writing a book on her life, as well as a screenplay adaptation. She will only sell it to a studio or production company who is committed to telling her TRUE story as victim of a press hoax. She has turned down over two million form Penthouse in order to find a credible source to tell the TRUTH about her life. People like nutty Danny Bloom have slandered and libeled her and owe her an apology. Miss McKinney has suffered emotionally and psychologically from this Mormon sourced press hoax.

  8. Your article is false, libelous, and defamatory. Are you stupid, or just a gossip who enjoys slandering others? Is your IQ room temperature? Do you really believe that a 112 pound gorgeous blonde former Miss Wyoming/USA “kidnapped and raped” a 300 pound 6’5″ pudgey Mormon who worked at Taco Bell?? Did you do ANY research and call the British court to see if she was actually CHARGED with this garbage? — Obviously not, or you would have found out she was NEVER CHARGED with raping any man, and that the whole story was a Mormon HOAX enacted by Mormon cultists (their PR teams and spin doctors) and their media and tabloid newspaper cronies, to discredit Miss McKinney who was a outspoken dissident against Mormonism and their human rights abuses, which is WHY they orchestrated worldwide PRESS HOAX to discredit her! Please remove wording such as “kidnapper” and wording insinuating that she is a sex criminal who forced a (300 pound) Mormon to have sex. Miss McKinney was a Christian woman, who was a VIRGIN when she met the Mormon. It causes her severe psychological harm every time someone as dishonest as YOU write or repeats the libelous story slandering her so maliciously. Moreover, for YOU to go along with the Mormon sourced libelous tabloid stories and REPEAT them, subjects YOU to a libel action, as well as criminal charges yourself! (You can actually be arrested for CRIMINAL LIBEL!) IF you do not remove this filth within ten days, it will be turned over to miss McKinney’s internet lawyers and a lawsuit started against you. We may also trace you via your internet address and have you charged with CRIMINAL LIBEL which can carry a jail term!

  9. Truthteller:

    I have edited the post and removed the word “kidnapper” from text I composed myself. I’ve done this so that there cannot be the slightest implication that I have stated, as a matter of fact, that Joyce McKinney committed a kidnapping.

    However, the word remains in the paragraph excerpted from the Times of London article, because that article does not state that Miss McKinney is a kidnapper, nor does it insinuate she is a sex criminal — and neither do I. What the article actually does is summarize the charges brought against Miss McKinney at the Old Bailey, and highlight the specific allegations made by Mr. Anderson. The article clearly states that Miss McKinney was only “alleged” to have kidnapped Mr. Anderson, and specifies that Mr. Anderson “claimed” she performed the acts for which she was charged. For a journalist, or anyone else, to report on (1) the legal charges brought against a defendant in a criminal prosecution, and (2) the public allegations upon which those charges are based, does not constitute defamation.

    For me to indicate that I found the story amazing, or even absurd, does not constitute defamation.

    For you to threaten me with arrest is appalling.

    To threaten me with arrest and jail from behind a pseudonym is beneath contempt.

    When submitting your comment, you supplied a nonexistent email address. This means that I cannot reply to you privately. It also means you took deliberate steps to falsify your identity.

    And yet you claim to have the authority, and standing, to have me arrested because I expressed a reaction to a news story. That’s outrageous.

    Not coincidentally, commenter “eb” above also supplied a nonexistent email address. Commenter eb and Truthteller, I believe, are the same person. The repetitive use of all caps, the specific details highlighted in both comments (300 pounds, 6’5” man; 112 pound woman; Miss Wyoming; and the assertion that a woman cannot be charged under British law with raping a man — a claim, and word, used only in these comments, not in my original post) lead me to conclude so. So whoever is threatening me has twice taken measures to falsify their identity and issue ultimatums from behind a veil of lies.

    I’ve found that “truthteller” has made similar threats to a number of publications, including The Chicago Reader, The Montreal Gazette, Indiewire.com, and Jennifer’s Documentary Blog on About.com. These threats have been made mostly in comments sections on reviews of a new film about Joyce McKinney. And now “truthteller” is threatening to have a blogger arrested for mentioning the case, tongue in cheek, in a two-year-old post.

    I have done nothing illegal and nothing actionable. For me to restate the allegations made in a court of law is unquestionably legal. For me to comment that I find the details of the case strange is also unquestionably legal.

    Who are you? Who is this “we” who threatens to trace me via my internet address to have me charged criminally?