Really?

You’ve gotta be kid…there’s no way…  you can’t be… I mean, really?

Diners can “have a ball” at testicle festival.

On Monday, volunteers with the town’s Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal.

I just.. oh, God… seriously?

And yet, that’s not even today’s most bizarre story. There’s this tale of political pique:

Irish artist faces jail for painting prime minister naked.

The prankster who created a furore when his nude portraits of Brian Cowen, the Irish Prime Minister, were hung in two of Dublin’s most prestigious galleries faced prison yesterday after police discovered his identity.

Conor Casby, 35, a shy, Dublin secondary school teacher… could be prosecuted for indecency, incitement to hatred and criminal damage – for hammering a nail into a wall of the National Gallery of Ireland. If convicted, he would face a heavy fine and possibly even a stint in jail.

“Fine Gael, the main opposition party, said last night that the affair was ‘more reminiscent of Russia in the 1930s than Ireland in 2009’. The party called it a ‘scandalous waste of resources’ for detectives to be investigating ‘what amounted to a practical joke that offended the Taoiseach’s ego’.”

No flippin’ kidding.

And yet that’s still not the day’s most eye-popping tale of political idiocy. That honor goes to Rep. Michele “Expose the anti-Americans in Congress” Bachmann, who is fulminating in the House of Representatives and on television about a dire threat that doesn’t exist. From her appearance on Glenn Beck’s show:

BACHMANN: Let me tell you, there’s something that’s happening this week in Congress that could be the eventual unravelling for our freedom, and it’s this. I had asked the Treasury Secretary and Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chair, if they would categorically denounce–

BECK: I know.

BACHMANN: –taking the United States off of the dollar and putting us on an international global currency. Because as you know, Russia, China, Brazil, India, South Africa, many national have lined up now and called for an international currency, a One World currency. And they want to get off the dollar as the reserve currency.

BECK: Most people don’t understand what that means.

BACHMANN: What that means is that all of the countries of the world would have a single currency. We would give up the dollar as our currency and we would just go with a One World currency.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

No nation — not China, not Russia, not, as Bachmann called it in Congress, “Kazakhistan” — has broached the creation of a new “One World” currency. No nation has suggested that the U.S. abandon the dollar. China has suggested diversifying the reserves held by most countries to include currencies in addition to the dollar.

And that sound you hear is me, pounding my head against my desk, wishing I could get this woman’s voice out of my mind. A “One World currency”? That’s the language of millennial fundamentalists. “One World government”  is code for “the antichrist is coming.” I mean… really?

Questioned by Bachmann, the Treasury Secretary and the Chairman of the Federal Reserve categorically denied that they want to eliminate the dollar. Bachmann’s response? From her official congressional website:

Bachmann Demands Truth: Will Obama Administration Abandon Dollar for Multi-National Currency?

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann (MN-6) has introduced a resolution that would bar the dollar from being replaced by any foreign currency.

This is equivalent to overhearing that the president is feeling crabby, and responding with a demand that the nation fight the invasion of the Crab People.

When I was growing up, every now and then my dad would shake his head at someone’s stupidity and say, “If she had a brain, she’d be dangerous.” I was going to say that about Rep. Bachmann. Then I read this.

“Michele Bachmann: I want people ‘armed and dangerous’ over Obama tax plan.”

She’s already there.

IN THE COMMENTS: DJ Paterson puts it all together.

You’ve missed the point entirely, Meg. You need to be armed and dangerous if you’re going to be able to fend off the Crab People. Those suckers really nip.

And stories like the testicle festival are obvious smokescreens created by their advance raiding parties to create confusion and chaos.

Arm yourselves!!! (and stock up on seafood sauce).

Will ketchup do?

12 responses to “Really?

  1. Does she have a cousin named Sarah? Or perhaps it’s one of those complicated sibling/cousin relationships…

  2. Really don´t know where you are getting your news from. Danish news (be it on paper or screen) mostly makes you sleepy.
    Perhaps I should try to make them change my supply?

  3. Politics attracts idiots the same way that the motor trade attracts sharks.

  4. You’ve missed the point entirely, Meg. You need to be armed and dangerous if you’re going to be able to fend off the Crab People. Those suckers really nip.

    And stories like the testicle festival are obvious smokescreens created by their advance raiding parties to create confusion and chaos.

    Arm yourselves!!! (and stock up on seafood sauce).

  5. Just add a teaspoon of horseradish to the ketchup and you’ve got it. What about the special forks? They could be used to kill and then consume.

  6. If you ever spot Rocky Mountain Oysters on a menu, that’s what you’ll be getting. Although just to quibble, they’re not from bulls (now, that would be an exciting rodeo sport!) but from calves.

  7. Laurie, first you supported including extreme ironing in the Olympics; now, rodeo bull gelding. The Laurie R. King sports channel will be exciting indeed.

  8. I once enquired what Rocky Mountain oysters tasted like at a very famous restaurant in Denver and a fellow at the adjoining table said “like rubber bands fried in batter”. Needless to say I passed on them.

  9. Pingback: cearta.ie » Cowengate follow-on: a question, and more pictures at the exhibitions

  10. I suspect Mme. Bachmann has been watching the popular “Zeitgeist the Movie”.

    ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeitgeist_The_Movie#Part_III )

    Nothing like a homemade internet movie to build public policy on.

  11. Thanks, Jeff. Just what we need… more internet conspiracy movies.

    Patti, thanks to your suggestions I have added horseradish and the special killing forks to my survival kit.

  12. Soon we can do away with history classes and learn nothing but internet conspiracies! (and the corresponding debunking movies, of course.) If it’s good enough for our politicians…

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