Students in the English Department at Trinity College Dublin got a surprise when a new professor appeared on the department’s website: Dr. Conan T. Barbarian, “Long Room Hub Associate Professor in Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying.”
Dr Conan T. Barbarian was ripped from his mother’s womb on the corpse-strewn battlefields of his war-torn homeland, Cimmeria, and has been preparing for academic life ever since. A firm believer in the dictum that “that which does not kill us makes us stronger,” he took time out to avenge the death of his parents following a sojourn pursuing his strong interest in Post-Colonial theory at the Sorbonne. In between, he spent several years tethered to the fearsome “Wheel of Pain”, time which he now feels helped provide him with the mental discipline and sado-masochistic proclivities necessary to sucessfully tackle contemporary critical theory. He completed his PhD, entitled “To Hear The Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature” at UCD and was appointed to the School of English in 2006, after sucessfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song.
Trinity College has, sadly, removed the hacked page. But the cache, with Prof. Barbarian’s full C.V., can be seen at the link above.
As the daughter of an English professor, I can attest that academic battles fully deserve to be memorialized through epic poetry and ululation.