Update II: Contest poetry

The winner of Contest 2011 will be announced shortly. Yes, really. I mean it. I know you all checked in over the weekend to see if I’d kept my promise to announce the results. I failed. Apologies.

In the meantime, here’s an unexpected result from the contest: group-sourced contestant poetry. As the clock ticked down to the deadline, several contestants began writing verse. Which proved wonderful and vastly amusing to me, so I’m re-posting it here. Keep in mind that this poem was written on the spur of the moment, and over the course of about an hour, by writers in Nebraska, New Zealand, and Iowa, with a final verse added in England. I love the Internet. And my blog readers.

I’ve noted in parentheses the author of each verse.

Anapests, aka poetic meth*

‘Twas the hour before judgment
And all through the blog
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a “mog.”

“The entries were posted to the blog with great care,
In the hopes that The Meg would espy them there.
And as hour marched on and midnight drew near,
Did the blog-reading masses have no more to share?”

“The minions awaited Meg’s doom all aquiver:
Which of them would die in her tale, Ransom River?”

“Mama in her kerchief, on top of a dog,
Had monkeyed around through the dust and the smog.
On Peebles, on Ferd, On Whiplash, and others,
Which poster has tickled the Meg o’ Death’s druthers?”

Oh, hell! Alright…

“Alone with her iMac, and iPad, and iPhone,
Meg tried to decide who had made her not groan,
But laugh like a women on Jack and Mint, Juniors,
But time, it ran out, and not later, but sooners,
Who come from OK-ville, where Meg too had sprung,
And where, more than once, The Husband had sung.

But now I digress, and get off of the track,
It’s time to let go and, to Meg, give a crack
At trying to separate wheat from the chaff,
And choosing a winner at whom she did laugh

“… and as midnight had struck over England this night,
The competitors put down their pens and they sighed.
Another contest had come and then gone,
So happy they were to have again played along…
And as Meg settled down for her night of slumber,
She thought she did hear in her blog distant thunder…
Of dogs and monkeys and rodeo gear,
Of horses and cowboys and Ho’s filled with beer….
and she thought to herself as sleep crept up close,
I should’ve taken a pill… hell a double-dose!”

Merry Contest to all, and to all a good night.

Official contest results in a couple of hours.


8 responses to “Update II: Contest poetry

  1. Oh no… I will be sleeping when the results go up!

    And…. because hanging around Dana Jean has an effect on people: Meg, that last bit of prose of mine–see there that I have left out closing speech marks? It is driving me crazy.
    Also, right after hitting “Post Comment” I wanted to change “The blog-reading masses had no more to share…” to ” Did the blog-reading masses have no more to share?”
    Er… and (last one, really.) in the line “Another competition had come and then gone,” – I wanted to substitute contest for “competition”.

    *Sigh* Just call me Flake D. Jean Noir. 🙂

  2. Oh little Flake D. Jean Noir, it was and is practically perfect in every way.

    I love to laugh, you guys delivered.

  3. I’m not great with the literary terms and references. Is “Anapest” an Americanization of the Russian literary term: Anna Pestenina?

  4. O that Anna Pestenina’d stayed off the metrical tracks!

  5. First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question which I’d like
    to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.

    I have had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts
    out there. I do take pleasure in writing however
    it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any ideas or tips? Thanks!

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