Get your apocalyptic gear right here

Snart writes: “Hey, saw this and thought of you and your daughter. Whatcha think?”

Apocalypse Kit.

What if it happens? What if our worst fears are realized? If the Dead walk, the continuation of the human race will become a daily struggle. Are you prepared to protect and defend your family and friends? Your best chance lies in the Gerber Apocalypse Survival Kit. Enclosed in a super durable canvas carrying case with reinforced stitching, the kit is compact and packable. To beat the uprising we must work together. We must arm ourselves and organize.

*Note: Apocalypse Survival Kit orders will ship in the order in which we receive them, beginning on March 5th, 2012.

What do I think? We should order them by the gross. What else would I think?

Okay, I also think Snart knows me far too well, and knows that I’ve infected imbued my daughter with such a love of disaster movies that she recently chose to go Kauai, out of all tropical island destinations, because it’s where Jurassic Park was filmed. And that she hopes for her next birthday, Mom might just get her an Extreme Tornado Tour.

As for the Apocalypse Kit itself, I’m disappointed it only covers Zombie apocalypse. What about supervolcanos, the Rapture, or bird flu? When those chickens go mad and attack humanity, I want to be ready. Still, this kit is a start.

And I checked the “Cautions and disclaimers” link — considering that the Apocalypse Kit contains two machetes, a parang, an ax, an infantry knife, a folding knife, and another knife simply named “Epic,” I think its warnings to use eye protection and not to pick the machete up “by the blade” are sensible. And I’m pleased that the kit comes with a lifetime guarantee, but suspect that the manufacturer doesn’t think a lifetime will last much beyond March 5th.

2 responses to “Get your apocalyptic gear right here

  1. Order now! Don’t wait! Think of your loved ones! (No, wait, let me buy some stock in it first.) Never mind. It’s okay, folks. Nothing to see here. Move along. (At least until I get that stock.)

  2. hoehaoheoaha! I love your sense of humor.

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