This week a number of people sent me links to stories about the zombified face-eating cannibal in Miami. To which I must say: golly, that’s sweet. But it’s okay for you to stop now.
Because a new threat is sweeping across the land: Cowpocalypse 2012.
BOXFORD, Mass. — Police say a roving group of cows crashed a small gathering in a Massachusetts town and bullied the guests for their beer.
Boxford police Lt. James Riter says he was responding to a call for loose cows on Sunday and spotted them in a front yard.
Riter says the herd high-tailed it for the backyard and then he heard screaming. He says when he ran back there he saw the cows had chased off some young adults and were drinking their beers.
Yeah. After a century of cow-tipping, the cattle are fighting back. And they’re starting with their main foes, the beer-drinking youth of America.
IN THE COMMENTS: Tastes Like Grandma warns, “Do. Not. Give. Them. Tomacco.”