Horse punch, violent sheep, ferrets under glass?

Yes, people are crazy. But take a look at all these stories and consider how different each headline would read if the punctuation was changed. And tell me how the second headline could be written to sound clearer and less like a tale of demon sheep.

Police: Man punched police officer, horse.

Town hunts werewolves after sheep attacks.

Guest called room service for a ferret.

6 responses to “Horse punch, violent sheep, ferrets under glass?

  1. How do they know there wasn’t a were*sheep* involved . . . ? 😉 Sounds like a set-up to me.

  2. Yeah! Poor werewolves.

  3. Werewolves get all the blame…. I’m working hard to wrap my head around the notion that if, while staying in a hotel, I wish a ferret, it only takes a call to room service to acquire one. Who knew?

  4. On second thought, the hotel-and-ferret headline makes absolute sense. I don’t think ferrets are heavy enough to depress the keys on the phone. They would never manage the call alone.

  5. The first one is standard headlinese, but the most interesting part of the story is the guy punching the horse (sorry, officer).

    “Town hunts sheep-attacking werewolves” (Good luck, guys. If/when you find him–it?–YOU deal with the murky human v. animal rights issues. The status of Mr. Data will be nothing to it.)

    “Guest asks room service for pet ferret” (I think “pet” implies he doesn’t intend to eat it. As an aside, the ferret is the only animal whose blood gives a positive “human blood” result on a screening test.)

    Thanks again, Meg, for pointing out reasons to read the news that are not depressing.

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