Contest 2012

Announcing my sixth annual contest. It’s time for the 2012 Peebles Award competition.

The winner will have a character named after him or her in my next novel.

For the chance to be immortalized — or perhaps mortalized — in The Shadow Tracer:

In 200 words or fewer, explain what’s going on in the photo above.

Deadline: 11:59 p.m. GMT, Monday November 5th.

Leave your answers in the comments section below.

As usual:

Brevity gets bonus points. Making me laugh gets bonus points. Referencing blog topics and my fiction gets bonus points. You may enter as often as you wish. Previous winners may enter, on the understanding that if they win (no guarantee, because I want to encourage new entries), they will nominate a friend or relative to become a character in the new novel.

My decision will be megalomaniacal, capricious, and final. Two runners-up will each get a signed copy of one of my novels, or (if you’re willing to wait until next year) the new book.

Good luck.

(Photo: REUTERS/Jim Urquhart)

179 responses to “Contest 2012

  1. Anne McLauchlan

    I come from planet Glitter Ball and I come in peace to bring you dance moves that you have never seen before in this galaxy. One, two, three, four…reach for the stars…

  2. He was doing the Disco Gangnam style. Unfortunately, no one told him the Lobster shoes were last season.

  3. I might only be a kid, but my heart and soul are stuck in the 70s.

  4. We were so proud when our son John got his first job out of college as a marketing specialist for the Acme Christmas Tree Ornament company. His future is bright, very bright.

  5. This celebrity is taking ‘Dancing With the Stars’ way to seriously!

  6. Eventually, Aladdin came to regret his final wish from djinn of the lamp, “Oh, if only every day could seem like Saturday night at the roller disco!”

  7. “Trick or treat baby. John Travolta? Bollocks! I’m one of the Bee Gees!”

  8. “I got disco on my mind, baby”

  9. He’s the cautionary tale of what happens when hipsters birth designer babies.

  10. I am not a he, neither a she, if I weren’t a dinosaur I could be a flie, I took it’s head.

  11. Worst Pick Up Line Ever ~ “Come & Dance under my disco ball baby”

  12. All Shadow needs light to be seen and with this disco ball I can be a Tracer to all the worlds in between! Lighting the path with my sparkles and light to discover the darkness is where the true path lies:)

  13. Chow Ching had been stricken from the Terracotta Warrior record books for doping when he came to sword practice promoting a hip new, less-restrictive outfit.

    The only way to save face was to do the Hustle while the other guys threw Chinese stars at him for practice in an event called, The Running of the Balls.

  14. So after several months of traing, he decided to enter the costume-themed marathon. His costume was going to be a great Deadmau5 headpiece with an awesome black sequenced tee. Unfortunately as he started running the race the shirt became too hot! Upon removing the shirt the ears of his Deadmau5 headpiece flew off and he was left with this!!!

  15. Ying ma, the Sensei (which means — Man Who Eats Old Cat Turds in Japanese) was in reality Chuck Picklesticks, a notorious molester who had danced at New York City’s Studio 54 as one of those really messed up “Club Kids.” Not only did he give Gary his Glitter, he spun like a thousand lights for Donna Summers.

  16. When Jack-in-the-Box founder — Jack — started snorting coke, he made some really bad business decisions.

  17. Jo was going through the holiday snaps when she suddenly paused in confusion. The picture in her hand did not belong there. It showed a small child, running towards the camera, who appeared to be at some kind of fancy dress party. The child was absurdly dressed in fluoro shorts, metallic jewellery, and strangely enough had a disco ball on his head. There was something else about the picture too that made Jo feel somewhat uneasy but she couldn’t figure out why.
    Later that evening, Jo poured herself a glass of wine and turned on the news. She froze in shock as she saw the headlines. “Young boy missing from school fancy dress party. Last seen running away following a bullying incident involving a disco ball being forced onto his head”.

  18. Place: A Costume Party. Time: October 31, 1980.
    “Justin, what are you supposed to be?”
    “I am ‘the day the music died’. Ya know, Don McLean.”
    “Honey, disco didn’t just die. Someone took pity on it and put it out of its misery.”
    “Okay. In that case I’m a newel post at the Playboy mansion.”
    “Let’s just dance. But I’m leading. I don’t know how you can see
    in that get-up.”
    “See? I can’t even breathe! But I look really fan-freaking-tastic and that’s what really counts.”

  19. Once upon a time there were 4 Chinese brothers; Bao (treasure), Huo (fire), Ning (peace) and Warhol (soup). Now Bao, Huo and Ning decided that Warhol needed to leave the village as their water buffalo hated Warhol and no rice could be delivered to market as the animal refused to work. So, Warhol was forced from his home. He packed his bags, moved to the United States and bedazzled his balls. When one ball became cystic and swallowed his head, he died.

  20. Oh my God, I love these contests! heoaheohaoehoaheaohea!!!!!

  21. Human Disco Ball !

  22. Of all of the tropical diseases his doctor warned him of before his once-in-a-lifetime trip to Bali, Irving swore she never once mentioned Disco Fever.

  23. Good entries. Keep ’em coming.

  24. Just because he plays a mean game doesn’t mean the Pinball Wizard can dress himself

  25. Does this ball make me look fat?

  26. You can run, but you can’t hide from the glitteratti!

  27. The Pointer Sisters always pushed the fashion card. When June Pointer refused to fix her bucked toothed, big-gapped grin, the record label blinged her up with a ball of mirrors and disco was born.

  28. Seth Colder wasn’t a man to be left behind in the record books. After Felix Baumgartner made his record-breaking “jump” from space, Seth vowed that he, too, would set a record. Donning his “space helmet,” he joined the attempt to break the largest Samba dance record, previously set by 800 people in 2010. Unfortunately, unable to breathe after dancing for an hour, Seth collapsed and had to be taken to a hospital. Thus, the dance failed to be the largest, by one person.

  29. With the great success of The Village People and the song YMCA, DECCA records put together their own themed boy band. Rick didn’t get the memo.

  30. After Dick Clark’s stroke, he just wasn’t as quick on his feet. Sh*t happens.

  31. Carlos Miranda decided it was time to update his famous grandmother’s look at this year’s Carnival.

  32. After this contest is over, I think you should share all the entries with the photographer. and I would like to hear what was going on in this picture!

  33. )'( was a renaissance guy. He loved his < and his =/\../\= and his wife's (.Y.). But he loved 8==D more. Actually, he loved 8=========D more.

  34. Okay that didn’t work. Why didn’t that work? Dammit. That was a really artsy entry! hahahaha

  35. Livia! What is it dear? He has done it again. You must talk to the boy. He is a Roman Senator. This is most disturbing. What will he do next, ride a horse into the chamber? Talk to him. Buy him a toga but by Jove, tell him to take that silly mask off and act like a man. Yes dear.

  36. Desmond believed he had discovered the trick to catching those sneaky Ninja warriors using their reflections. Unfortunately, he tested his theory on Samuri warriors by mistake. The ensuing tragedy is memorialized in discos around the planet.

  37. An APB has gone out for a man who robbed a Church’s Chicken with a Samurai sword. I think I found him. He’s hiding behind that Dale Chihuly sculpture.

  38. W. Scott Roller

    “People say I’m lost in the 70’s…it’s the retro gym shorts isn’t it????”

  39. Actor Daniel Day Lewis has always pushed the boundaries when it comes to the roles he takes on and the characters he portrays. In his latest film and remake of Eyes Wide Shut — which will be called The Last Samurai with Eyes Wide WIDE — He will play a human Ben Wa ball, trapped in Tom Cruise’s hiney.

  40. Things went seriously wrong at The Whale’s Vagina, an upscale tattoo and piercing emporium run out of the back of Dennis Rodman’s sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s doula and lactation consultant’s garage in Sandy, Utah.

    John asked for a Prince Albert. When he woke up, he WAS a Prince Albert.

  41. The government global warming warnings did not seem real until the large raindrops began to fall………

  42. The Disco Cowboy, a Saturday Night Fever Darth Vader, the result of an impossible union between the Bad Cowboy and a forgotten Kill Chain micro-assassin, was relentless, cutting a swath through Japanese monster suit-wearing dancers who were hyped up on ecstasy, approaching Meg in her Inceptive state with every terrible boogieing step. Meg had been trapped by a diabolical fiction-making Wilkes-ette who had commandeered Meg’s computer and her mind (and *our* minds) and globally changed all documents with Jo and Evan so that both women were now permanently maimed and brain damaged, ensuring that *neither* of them *ever* touched Jesse’s perfectly toned, delicious body. (Was that a riding crop in Jesse’s commanding hand? Yes, Wilkes-ette decided, typing, yes it was indeed.) Meg looked around wildly. How would she ever get out of *this* story complication? “Rory!” she thought. “Wilkes-ette has forgotten Rory because Jesse doesn’t make an appearance in Ransom River!!!” Meg focused. Rory appeared, snatched a samurai sword from a crazed dancer, and cut off the Disco Cowboy’s brilliantly reflective head.

    “The road to hell is paved with disco ball assassins . . .” Rory said, panting. “Hey, I thought I was a one-off!”

    “Come on,” Meg said, grabbing her dream totem, a box of Junior Mints. “We need to *stop* her . . . .”

  43. “You think this is shiny? Wait ’til you see my other balls!”

  44. Gabe Quintana’s next mission was to an undisclosed location in South America, where he tried to insert himself unnoticed into the Liberdade Samba School, unawares that Liberdade is the Japanese enclave of the city.

  45. “Shogun: The Later Years” was supposed to be Cousin Tater’s entré into the film business. She remains puzzled about its failure.

  46. Ferd Bismuth would never trust Mr. Peebles to choose his Chinese New Year’s costume again!

  47. Al (David) Hedison was adamant that he would not reprise his 1958 role for the 1982 remake, “Super Disco Fly”. It turned out to be a good decision. Pauline Kael called the film “…execrable, which might be apropos in a film about a fly, but the choice of Herve Viillechaize to play the roller-skating scientist was particularly misguided. Help ME!”

  48. YouBredRaptors?


  49. Never fails, Meg. I remove myself from internet range for a couple of days, and the contest rises. Okay, time to get down to business. For the fun of it.

  50. Lance Armstrong is proud of having only one huge ball, but he let it go to his head.

  51. She should have ignored his panicked plea for help, should have stayed home with her book and her woolly socks. But despite the strobing and manufactured fog, she spied him straddling a crossbeam high overhead. Their eyes met, and he gestured frantically toward the center of the room at a spot above the crowd.

    Mr. Peebles perched atop the massive disco ball, riding its coruscating spin. His black eyes were fixed on something in the heaving mass below. Hunching forward, he opened his tiny mouth in a faintly orgasmic grin of anticipation.

    The young man, with a smaller version of the disco ball fitted entirely around his head, never knew what hit him. To the thrumming tones of Beethoven’s Fifth—a la disco—he flailed and twisted, trying to dislodge the furry, sharp-fingered creature that suddenly swung from the shiny metal bands round his neck.

    Jo grabbed the headpiece and yanked it off, ignoring the man’s shout of surprise and pain. With one swift motion, she captured the shrieking, angrily thwarted capuchin and stuffed him inside the ball. Pressing the opening against her chest she shouted, “Ferd!” And, wishing she’d worn a turtleneck, she ran for the door.

  52. Turning his back on his career in fast food, Jack entered the glittery world of male strippers as Magic Jack. It was a move everyone else realized at once was a mistake.

  53. Scotty knew there would be Hell to pay when Captain Kirk discovered he had been beamed aboard with the faulty transporter again.

  54. does this disco ball make my ass look fat?

  55. “Disco Stu has… finally gone too far.”

  56. Even The Terracotta Army gets bored once in a while. Unfortunately Qin Shi Huang’s lead General (Xiang Yu) took “Come in costume” a little too seriously.

    • “Sonofabitch!” cried Qin Shi Huang. “How is it going to look at next years rally when we have to explain why key members of China’s first Emperor have chosen Japanese dress instead of traditional Chinese wares?”
      “It’s okay” replied Xiang Yu. “We’ll just say the party was fancy-dress.”


  57. Knowing that the world was going to end this year anyway (Well, thank you Mayans!) Ferd thought, Daayum, this is one monkey-loving boy that will be going out in STYLE!

  58. “You spin me right round, baby right round
    Like a disco-ball, baby right round round round…”

  59. After the recent nude partying hurrah, Prince Harry decided ‘incognito’ would be a better going out choice.

  60. “If all the raindrops were disco-balls and hip-hops,
    oh what a rain that would be…”

  61. This is of course a still photo taken from the new sequel to the Seven Samurai, it’s going to be set a little later than the first movie. (in the 80’s I think?)
    It is called My Green Undies Beat Your Boring Grey Garb Any-day, So Kiss My Big Multifaceted Silver Head, Biotch!
    I heard that they’re going to be using Lance Armstrong for the lead now that he’s looking for work.

  62. “Sometimes I think my head is so big because it… has this giant disco-ball on top of it.”
    ~ The Elephant Man… kind of.

  63. Heeeeeeeeeelp me…. I’m stuck in Meg’s contest!

  64. Two Words: Bling Dynasty.

  65. More, people. More!

  66. When Ferd Bismuth unexpectedly found himself thrust amongst several battle-hardened Samurai, he knew he’d have to turn to desperate measures to ensure that he’d be…
    “….stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
    Ah, ha, ha, ha,
    Stayin’ alive.
    Stayin’ alive.
    Ah, ha, ha, ha,
    Stayin’ aliiiiiiive…”

    • another haoheohoaheoahe!

    • Arrrrrgh! Grammar, grammar, what WOULD my Gramma say?!

      “When Ferd Bismuth found himself thrust unexpectedly amongst…”
      “When Ferd Bismuth found himself unexpectedly thrust amongst…”

      Oh Meg, heeeeeelp me! See? this is why I should never think for too long at one time. Always ends in disaster.

      • No, it’s definitely this one:
        “When Ferd Bismuth found himself thrust unexpectedly amongst…”
        I think….

        Crap, I’ll fix it later I’m late to go see my Poppa in the home… Dana Jean cuuuuuuuurse you ,woman! 😉

  67. Hours later, disco boy put his head in a vice and crushed it, putting himself out of his misery. His friends thought the horror was over . . . but then they heard a voice pleading, “Help me, help me!” They looked up and saw his head dangling from the end of the chain which had tethered the disco ball before the unfortunate transference.

    Hey, it’s Halloween! 😉

  68. And a subconscious shout-out to jpaubrey. I must have read your entry, but still thought I was the first one to think of David (Al [Al?]) Hedison. Ah, viable brain cells, how I loved thee once . . .

  69. The three older Gibb brothers were insanely jealous of their youngest brother, Glibly Gibb’s much superior singing voice.
    So one night after a concert at the Dirty Secrets Club, the brothers crammed a disco ball over Glibly’s head and threw the little guy into Ransom River. They left him, thinking he would soon drown. However, the disco ball kept his head above water and he bobbed along until he reached Jericho Point where Ransom River empties into China Lake. Evan Delaney was on vacation fishing off a pier, when she saw the ball. Evan thought the strange ball must be a satellite that had fallen into the lake and that she could sell it at the Kill Chain Pawn shop up in Mission Canyon for a nice price. She made a cast toward the ball, hooked it and reeled it in. When the ball reached shallower water, Glibly’s feet touch bottom and he ran blindly up the bank and kept running until he reached L.A. where he stumbled into an audition for Dancing with the Stars and the rest as they say is history. They silenced Glibly’s voice, but not his feet. That boy could also dance. Could he ever!

  70. That photo is begging for some decent Neil Armstrong material, but it is just too soon… I can’t do it. (RIP Mr. Armstrong)

  71. Torquil never forgot his mother’s advice: Always remember, the way you dress in public is a reflection on you.

  72. Scott Brundle’s precocious nephew finds out the hard way his uncle’s experiments were not all cracked up to be what they were supposed to be.

  73. “In the picture above we see one of the few surviving images of a cylon prototype.” – Encyclopedia Galactica, p. 438

  74. Mr. Peebles faced a two front quandary. He had to neutralize forever the Metro Gnome wearing the tackiest of Tater’s Tawdry Trinkets before they caught on. Then there was the Terra Cotta Chinese Unicorn Warrior, Hu Woo Duh Thunket. It couldn’t be friendly, not in that getup. Couldn’t be very comfortable either. Where to start…where to start. Why wasn’t Jo about to provide back up?
    (These and other pointless questions will be continued after a few more beers. Stay tuned.)

  75. Timmy was becoming concerned that maybe, just maybe, Justin Bieber did not start out this way. But who knew?

  76. Above is a photograph of Attila Szoradi (of Florida) exercising his right to Disco like it’s nineteen-seventy-something.
    In an interview today Szoradi said, “I do not wish to enter into a contract with the new millennium at this time.”
    Deputy Sean Sweeney of the Pasco sheriff’s department has informed us here at the Tampa Bay Times that the Fashion Police will be notified forthwith.

  77. OMG Meg, well done! You’ve found The Secret Policeman’s Other Ball!

  78. My Momma always said, “Life is like a Disco-ball on your head. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Well, basically because you can’t see. Anything.

  79. Pingback: Reminder: Enter Contest 2012 | lying for a living

  80. Flushed with horror, Jo turned to Gabe. “Is this a cutaway view inside of Stephen King’s mind?” she asked”
    “I don’t know about that. The closest I’ve come to a sight like this was a nightmare related to me from a woman I revived after a tortured bender she had been on involving Junior Mints and Jack Daniels.”
    He thought about it some more. “She was frantically begging the gods for a Muse at the Parthenon not realizing it was the fake in Nashville. Her children wore masks to cover their embarrassment. I gave up mints after that.”

  81. He’s the MIRROR image of someone I saw on the DISCOvery channel the other night. I GLITTER imagined he’d up at the BALL dressed like this. But he’s a RANSOM chap isn’t he ?

  82. The Man Who Fell to Earth: The Musical!

  83. Peebles sensed that he was in danger of becoming irrelevant. Just two years ago, Meg’s diehard blog readers had been so enamored of him that they had even confused him with an ugly dog! But now Meg had recently sold a book that *didn’t* *even* *feature* *him*!!! He was losing his mojo. It was time to reveal that he had really been an animagus all along. (He had served as a technical advisor to J.K. Rowling before getting the Gardiner gig.) Yes, his well documented proclivities (Beanie Babies and such) could not actually be blamed on being a monkey. He was just a pervert. Ferd was a real life doofus whom Meg had hired to keep an eye upon the notorious Mr. Peebles. (J.K. had shared some disturbing stories.) So Peebles decided to leave his monkey form behind. But when he changed, a tiny monkey head remained on his shoulders. He grabbed one of Ferd’s disco balls, covered his embarrassment, slipped out into the streets of San Francisco (where no one would notice anything odd ;)), and searched for the wizard (a megapolisomancer, among other things) who could make him whole again. And then he would make Meg pay . . .

    (Unless, of course, he’s in the forthcoming book . . . in which case, *all* is forgiven. 😉 )

    [Apologies if any version of this story has been done before: too many contests and too many entries featuring Mr. P. – and I’m too lazy to search through the archives.]

  84. When Good Forceps-Deliveries Go Bad.

  85. When Good Tongue Piercings Go Bad.

  86. One can never have too much bling.

  87. Mirror, mirror at the ball,
    who’s the dorkiest of them all?

  88. “He was clearly nervous. Strange people were milling about in front of him, asking questions about his big shiny head. When he saw the camera, he froze. He was in mid gyration, bling slapping painfully again’st his chest, he didn’t know what to do.

    So he kept dancing.”

    • Oh no, what have I done?! (Never, ever turn on your computer without first (actually) waking up and having coffee.)
      Meg, please can you fix my “against”?

      Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid… 😳 😦

      • Because everybody else embraced and adopted it before I saw this comment, and because changing the spelling would mean I had to delete all subsequent comments referring to it, I hereby declare “again’st” an official modern spelling of the word.

        Everybody’s finger slips on the keyboard now and then. But not everybody gets to coin a new usage.

      • Thanks, Meg…

    • Well, I kinda like “again’st”.

  89. “Marco…?”

  90. Too late, Torquil realised he should have put on his turtleneck before his headgear. Dang! It was enough to make him want to bang his head again’st the wall.

    But then, he reflected, better not.

  91. Right. Not for him the tinfoil protection again’st alien thought readers. This would be the quintessential firewall, combining security with elegance.

  92. It was that magical time of year once more. Meg had announced her annual Peebles Award contest. Her fans arrived in droves and spent hour upon hour squeezing just-one-more entry out of their tired brains.
    When in the final hours suddenly it did become apparent that one fan was conspicuous in his absence.
    “Where is Ron?” they asked.
    “Hmmm, it’s not like him to miss one of Meg’s contests. That is unusual.”

    They searched high and low, knocked on doors and pinned pamphlets to notice-boards, but to no avail. He was just nowhere to be found.

    And then by God it did dawn upon them…

    They peered and they stared and then they slapped their thighs in mirth as tears ran down their aching jaws.
    “There he is!” they roared.
    “…he’s a maniac, maniac on the floor,
    and he’s dancing like he never danced before…”

    This was an unexpected find and set Meg’s fans to chatter excitedly amongst themselves…
    “OMG, I LOVE what he’s done with his hair…!”

    Disclaimer: No Rons were hurt (I hope!) in the making of this… er, thing.

  93. The World Trampolining Championship would never be held in a disco again.After the near disaster in Bejing.

  94. Early in the evening Master Po told young Grasshopper that when he could take the pebble from his hand he would have a new view of the world and six-pack abs. Poor Grasshopper, he never fully understood which would happen first.

  95. I would just like to point out that i did not revamp any of my entires this year. For that alone, I should get some sort of participant ribbon.

    (The artsy entry does not count. The mistake was not mine, but changed when I hit the post comment button. I still don’t understand why.)

  96. “Today is December 22nd, everyone,” he said, striding forward, “and your time is *up*.” Then he danced like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever and the world crumbled. The End. 😉

  97. The right honorable gentleman wants to take issue with the Olympic Committees refusal to include his latest creations in the Opening Ceremonies. Madame Speaker, please direct your attention to the west wing of the chamber, here we see the latest statement of fashion combining the elements, the future, humanity and the esprit de corps of the modern English man.

  98. Although there is no dance floor film footage from the Star Wars Mos Eisley Cantina, it’s obvious that some were shaking their booty in a back room. Your center figure in the photo was probably about to be bounced as it seems the “droid” detector had failed at the entrance most likely compromised by the use of the secret decoder ring.

  99. Good luck everyone. Great entries.

  100. Ditto… had a great time reading everybody’s entries, I love this time of year. Thanks, Meg!

  101. Despite the hours of meticulous planning, Kent was worried. He tried to look inconspicuous, to blend in, but his mind kept flicking back to the CIA assignment brief. Something was niggling him, something he’d missed. Something important. And after last year’s incident with the Saudi Prince, the hairdryer, and the Capuchin monkey, this was his last chance to prove himself.

    As he danced Gangnam Style, he ran through the key points from Friday’s meeting:

    He was going undercover – check.

    His Section Chief had given him a ticket for him to the Chinese Governor’s Annual Charity Ball – check.

    He was to be the Bag Man, to collect a copy of the secret agenda for next week’s governor’s meeting – check.

    His contact was the Governor’s Aide – check.

    He needed to get close to the aide without drawing too much attention to himself – check.

    Because of the high-profiles of his fellow guests, he needed to be able to blend in, to become one of the crowd, to be one of Hong Kong’s glitterati – oh, balls!

  102. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
    (And I would hate to have a character named after me.)

  103. Diego had been invited to the “Rancid River” launch party, so he thought he’d come prepared with his homemade SCUBA gear, cachaca glass, and energy globe.

  104. If you’re happy and you know it, slap your ball! If you’re happy and you know it….

  105. The Day the Earth Stood Still…Brazil edition.

  106. I believe I’m a fly, I believe I can touch the sky….!

  107. Edson the Fly Man planned to get his goiter attended to once Carnival was over.

  108. For here I am, dancing in my tin can…

  109. dennis mckinney

    Discomania was hitting at a much younger age. However, the good news is that so were flawless abs.

  110. dennis mckinney

    And then the children returned from playing dress up in Tom and Judy’s closet. “Mama, these people in Oklahoma are really weird” says the youngest.

  111. Julian Assange’s latest disguise, to escape extradition to Sweden is almost a success. Unfortunately for Assange, Ecuador’s foreign minister, Ricardo Patiño wanted his pants back.

  112. The disco version of Phantom of the Opera would have been a spectacular success except for a slight miscalculation regarding the falling chandelier.

  113. “Shuure, make fun of my dahn-sing.” the drunken Samurai slurred.
    “Dis-go a-head..” *hic*

  114. “Why yes I am a twin, some people say that my brother and I are mirror images.”

  115. SpongeBob and Patrick were devastated recently by the news that Sandy Cheeks is actually a man. Worse still was the knowledge that rather than being the proud country music lover as once believed, in reality he is in fact a closet Disco Dancer.

  116. On the eve of the US Presidential election, Mitt Romney, who had taken more positions than (insert sexually-inappropriate Dana Jean joke here), finally decided to embrace the fact that he could reflect the opinion of any potential swing voter.

  117. Justin’s twin brother Jack had always been the chosen one. He wore a funny hat and opened his own business, a silly drive-thru restaurant. Jack even featured himself in commercials. The worst part was that every time Jack spoke with Justin, he primped while looking at his reflection in Justin’s face. The anger festered like an infection. October 31st was the last straw.
    The Santa Barbara Police got a call about a body found on East Beach. The head had been ripped from it’s shoulders and hung on by a coiled spring. Evidence mounted when glitter was found under the fingernails. And although it was Halloween, the police were convinced they could locate the killer.
    Canvassing the bars on State St., they found Justin trying desperately to blend in. He had made a feeble attempt to dress as an islander, bare-chested with thick chains, dancing with the others. The cops took him in without incident, glitter littering the street as it fell from back of his scratched head.
    Poor Jack had watched himself die in Justin’s reflection. And that was Justin’s revenge.

  118. L. Frank Baum, like any writer, enjoyed the benefit of an excellent editor. But, when early drafts of his “Oz” stories were finally unearthed and adapted for film by Meg Gardiner, it gave US actor Hank Azaria the opportunity he had been hoping for to reprise his role as Agador Spartacus, from The Birdcage. Agador hoped that the Wizard could give him the one thing he lacked, a real leopard-skin boa.

  119. I really did have paragraphs in my entry… Sorry Meg!

  120. Thanks, everybody. The contest is now closed. And now the judging begins.

  121. Pingback: Contest 2012: the judging begins | lying for a living

  122. Pingback: Contest 2012: Results | lying for a living

  123. Pingback: 2012: a look back | lying for a living

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