It’s Ash Wednesday. You gotta be kidding me. I just took down the Christmas lights.
I’m thinking: restraint. I’m going to go wild making fun of everything that deserves derision. I’m going to laugh and point at idiot politicians. I’m going to sneer back at trolls on the Internet. And I’m going to eat that entire bakery box of chocolate glazed doughnuts.
What’s that you say? That indulgence would be the wrong spirit for the season? Oh, fine. In that case I’m going to give up… celebrity news.
I’m not going to flip through copies of Heat and OK! magazine even when I’m getting my hair cut. I’m not going to read stories that feature the word royal, even if the rest of the headline reads, “Photos of Prince Harry in the Buff.” I am not going to browse photos of movie stars on the red carpet at the Oscars, even when the caption says, “Fashion disaster!” I’m not going to click any links to tales of reality TV hijinks, even if you send them to me in an effort to tempt me. Nuh-unh.
I can do this. It will be edifying.
Now let me prepare myself. And pay no attention to that box of chocolate glazed doughnuts I’m about to eat.