Here’s what’s going on out there on Planet Weird:
First: this was clearly a delivery mixup. The Elmo cake should have been sent to the penitentiary, along with the cherry pie containing a file.
And I take issue with the headline. A paring knife is only a weapon when you’re fighting over possession of the potato peeler.
Mid-Devon Council declined to comment further and did not elaborate on who might be confused by the use of correct punctuation.
Grammar is scary.
Finally: The Gloucester Cheese Rolling competition has at last been captured on video.
Again, I take issue with the title of the video. Cheese rolling isn’t the world’s stupidest competition. Bog snorkelling season hasn’t even started.