SETTING: My world
Me, to my son’s English girlfriend: If I write a story with a British character, will you read it to make sure she sounds authentic?
Girlfriend: Certainly! What’s the story about?
Son: Zombies, right? Zombies!
Girlfriend: What do English zombies sound like?
Son, in falsetto voice: “Braaaiiins, dahling!”
Girlfriend: Or, “Please, sir, may I have–”
Son: “–some braaaiiins?”
This is my life.