Tag Archives: Crime

Street scenes: Austin

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Because everything rocks in Austin, attorneys should too.

And here are a few legal cases in the news. Maybe one of these people could use a rockin’ lawyer.

8 Charged in $45 million High-Tech Heist. And two of the guys posed for a photo with $40,000 of the cash the authorities say they were laundering.

Florida Man Escapes Police, Is Mauled by Alligator.

And finally, courtesy of the mighty Kitsap Sun: Man angry at neighbors goes on bulldozer rampage in Washington State.

“Man Fire-Bombs Taco Bell for Meatier Chalupa”

30 bizarre taco-related crimes.

The datelines on these stories range from Alaska to Florida, but as far as I can tell, none are from Kitsap County. (Though Vancouver, Washington is in Clarke County, along the swirling edge of the vortex of weird crime.)

I can’t decide which story is the strangest — maybe, “Sleeping Florida man arrested in drive-thru, offers cops taco as I.D. from inside burning car.” Or “Woman in court for trying to sell baby at Taco Bell.”

And I am taken aback by the number of arrests for taco-throwing. Who throws tacos? Tortilla chips, sure — they’re like corn-based ninja throwing stars. But tacos? What are you going to do, fling your lunch and run away while your victim shrieks, “My hair! The shredded lettuce and cheese, it’s in my hair! Get it out!”

Also: I am now very hungry.

Today in stuffed shorts: lobsters

The epidemic of trouser-stuffing by thieves enters a snappy crustacean phase.

Shopper arrested with live lobsters in shorts.

A man in southern Mississippi is accused of trying to walk out of a D’Iberville grocery store without paying for food items he’d stuffed into his cargo shorts including live lobsters.

Police Chief Wayne Payne says 35-year-old Nathan Mark Hardy was arrested Saturday after allegedly being caught stuffing food into his cargo shorts — two bags of jumbo shrimp, a pork loin and two live lobsters.

Payne says Hardy, of Biloxi, tried to escape by throwing the pork loin at employees at the local Winn Dixie but fell while running away.

Pants lobsters. The codpiece of choice for the modern felon.

(Via Bill Crider.)